Tabusintac — In an attempt to save precious early morning microseconds, a New Brunswick man deemed it socially appropriate to reduce all Facebook birthday wishes to a mere “HBD” initial-ism going forward.
Even the known fact that there is no character-limit on Facebook wall posts did not stop Kyle Sturgeon, 30, from carrying out his ever-efficient social media wordsmith wizardry on Danielle Gorman’s Timeline early Friday.
“I’ve known Kyle since preschool. His mother used to babysit me, for God’s sake. I know it sounds stupid but I really think I deserve more than 3 letters for my 30th birthday,” Gorman explained. “I mean, how busy is he that he doesn’t even have time to type out a full birthday wish?”
Gorman told The Manatee‘s news staff she would have also accepted “Happy B-day” with or without an exclamation mark or any other type of punctuation.
Our staff also learned this is not the first time Sturgeon has cut corners when using social media tools. For example, last winter he sent “heartwarming” condolences to a friend whose cat had been killed by a municipal snow plow by simply leaving “STHYCWDBTP” on their Facebook Timeline. The Manatee‘s research team spent a few hours decoding this message to “Sorry to hear your cat was destroyed by the plow.”
Additionally, Sturgeon recently initialized his LinkedIn job headline to literally read “ARSE head.” Sturgeon’s current role is Acting Renewal Sales Executive at Caisse Populaire in Neguac, N.B., where he is leading a team of 10 ARSEs.
Unfortunately, Sturgeon was unavailable to talk with The Manatee’s reporting team as he was too busy condensing his Twitter micro-biography to 8 uppercase letters.