Halifax — Megan Kirkway, a 32-year-old eyebrow-tinting specialist, lives a busy life and is fed up with people pointing out the countless grammatical errors she posts on social media. She insists that she simply doesn’t have time for the triviality of “good communication.”
“OMG!” she exclaimed. “Like, I have no time for this right now. My life is so busy with work and partying and keeping up with everyone on all my social media accounts. I don’t have time to worry about whether anything I say makes sense — I just need to say things, you know?
“I’m here to make connections with people,” she continued, “not to wonder if they understand what I’m saying. I’ve got the job, and I like to look good, and I like to watch TV and sleep — I really just don’t have the time for grammar.”
Kirkway said she doesn’t even bother reading the replies to her Facebook posts anymore as they’re consistently filled with grammar corrections or retorts to whatever she’s posting about.
“First of all, does it really matter if I use the right ‘your’ or if I separate my thoughts coherently with commas, periods or capital letters? The answer is no, it doesn’t matter. And secondly, I don’t need to hear other people’s opinions on my opinions — I’m gonna think whatever I wanna think and not care if it’s right or wrong or if it hurts anyone’s feelings.”
Our investigative reporting team was easily able to find examples of Kirkway’s communication skills on her public Facebook page, her Twitter account and her LinkdIn profile.
“Listen all i aint got no time for youre hating and playin games ima be me and your gonna be u and thats cool as cucumbers and if u dont think so then nvm cause i aint losin sleep weather or not u r and mel i made u an appointment to get mad tints tomorrow at 3bells,” read a Facebook post from Monday morning.
Her Twitter page boasted a slightly more legible post: “your a person and Im a person and there never gonna take that away from us sp pore ur heart and sole into what u do #alllifesmadder”
Our reporter reached out to some of Kirway’s listed Facebook friends and asked whether her improper grammar and punctuation bothered them at all.
“Oh goodness, no,” replied Jay Biggins. “I think she’s hilarious. Honestly, I’m constantly entertained by her posts. I don’t have a job, so I just sit home and try to decipher the meaning behind her tweets and comments — it’s a great way to kill time.”
Another friend, Kelly White, didn’t share the same enthusiasm.
“I really love Meg,” she explained, “but she’s pretty hard to keep up with. Most of the time I have no idea what she’s trying to say. Like, use a period or a comma or something, girl.”