Casino NB relieved to sell as they didn't really know what they were doing

Moncton — The ownership of Casino New Brunswick is doing what most of New Brunswick’s youth has been doing for years — moving out West. CBC reported Tuesday morning that the casino has been sold for $95 million to British Columbia-based Great Canadian Gaming.

A spokesman for Casino NB released a statement that explained the motive to sell. “We here at Casino New Brunswick realize that we don’t really know what we’re doing,” the statement read. “So we wanted to do the responsible thing and sell the company to someone who knows how to operate a successful business. Not surprisingly, we weren’t able to find any such person or company in New Brunswick.”

The gaming behemoth from British Columbia is trying to assure New Brunswick gamblers that it has no intention of closing, or moving the Moncton-based casino. “We love the thought of operating in New Brunswick,” expressed spokeswoman Sherri Grasse. “We know that there is great potential here and we’re hoping to foster a mutually beneficial relationship with gamers. We want their money and they want to give it to us — it’s really a win-win.

casinoGrasse went on to tell The Manatee that she thinks New Brunswick offers potentially the best gamblers in the country. “I think they’re already making a huge gamble by living here,” she said frankly.

The gaming company operates dozens of casinos in the country including those in Sydney and Halifax. “And those are just the ones we’ve got on the books,” bragged Grasse.

The deal has to be approved by the Canadian Gaming Association before being finalized, but Grasse anticipates that’ll be a painless process. “I’m sure the agency will see this as a smart move,” she said confidently. “If they have any doubts, I welcome them to come to one of our world-class resorts for a weekend to fully experience what we have to offer — we’ll give them the time of their life and make it pretty impossible for them to say no.”

When asked if the Moncton casino would incorporate any best-practices of those based in British Columbia, Grasse said that she didn’t see that happening. “I think operating in New Brunswick will bring on its own challenges,” she explained. “One one hand, New Brunswick is poor, so there isn’t a lot of money for people to spend. On the other hand, it’s really the only way New Brunswickers can make any money — it’s not like they can go find jobs.”

Residents of the province had mixed reactions concerning the proposed deal. “I don’t know if we should be rolling the dice on this one,” said an annoyingly pun-filled Mike Robinson of Dieppe. “Should we double-down and place our bets on this BC company? They say they have our best interests in mind, but what if they’re bluffing?”

Darren Holt of Woodstock, who frequents the casino on a weekly basis, was more optimistic about the possibilities. “This actually gives me a lot of relief,” he insisted. “I’m always worried about winning a big jackpot and them not being able to pay me because they don’t have any money — they are a New Brunswick company after all. I can put those fears to rest now with a responsible group running the show.”

For now, things remain unchanged at Casino New Brunswick, but The Manatee will keep a close eye on whether the current owners made the right choice as to when to fold their hand.

  1. Victor Donald Rick Ed Denis Brian May 14, 2015, 12:30 am

    I’m surprised the government didn’t pony up the money.

    Atcon-asino has a good ring to it.


Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.