Fredericton — In a surprising development, Bill Hogan has threatened to “dissolve” an elected council that runs one of the province’s school districts by end of day today.
But oddly, he seems to be drawing inspiration for this next move directly from the Marvel Avengers movies.
In an impromptu media scrum today, Hogan claimed he has the power to quell the rebellion using his gauntlet of uru metal created by Eitri on Nidavellir, as well as the stones of power he has collected through time and space.
“Now that I possess all of the Infinity Stones, I simply snap my fingers and they will dissolve into ash — as though they never existed,” Hogan claimed, in full-on movie villain mode.
“Umm, okay,” replied a reporter, “But you know you can’t do that, right? You have to go to court to do that. And you’re already being sued by the district education council, so it’s going to look like you are trying to bully them to avoid the court case.”
“You’re not the only one cursed with knowledge!” snapped Hogan. “Reality can be whatever I want! It’s my destiny.
“In all my years of conquest, it was never personal. But I’ll tell you now — what I’m about to do to their stubborn, annoying little district education council…I’m gonna enjoy it. Very, very much.”
“You kind of brought this on yourself though,” said another reporter. “Shouldn’t you just let the court proceedings play out and get a legal ruling to put an end to the disagreement?”
“I will shred their universe down to its last atom and then create a new one teeming with righteousness that knows not what it has lost but only what is has been given. A grateful council,” Hogan replied.
“I. Am. Inevitable.”