Ottawa — At a press conference early Tuesday morning, the chairman of the CBC board of directors Rémi Racine finally announced what had been expected from fans, critics and media watchdogs alike — that the CBC News Network’s morning program would be garnering a much lighter touch.
“Canadians have enough problems of their own,” he said. “No longer will they be burdened by the troubles of others before 11 a.m. Atlantic Standard Time.”
While some argue that the CBC morning news decision to no longer report news is contrary to the public interest, Racine had an answer ready: “Anyone who still wishes to see a scroll of headlines or listen to John Northcott shout things in point-form may do so at CBC.ca.”
Backyard photographer Gary Neil of Marysville welcomed the news of the impending lack of news. “I just got this new long lens, and a new squirrel feeder… I’m not exaggerating when I say I plan to own mornings in Canada.”
The new format will mean a definite cost savings; Racine announced that 90 percent of CBC New Network’s morning staff will be laid off.
Heather Hiscox of CBC News Now will remain on the program despite no longer having the responsibilities of a reporter. “Heather’s enthusiasm will be vital, especially when the winner for best photo is announced every morning at 10:45 a.m. AST,” explained Racine, who had begun walking away from the microphones before he suddenly darted back.
“But we’re not suggesting that she resembles a game show host… nobody is saying that here.”