Cheap bastards abuse free visitor parking at UNBSJ

Cheap bastards abuse free visitor parking at UNBSJ

Saint John — Well, it’s that time of year again. The nights are getting cool, the leaves are changing colour, the little darlings are back in school, and like every year at this time, locals’ frustration with being unable to find a free visitor parking spot at UNBSJ returns.

These frustrated locals have reason to be at UNBSJ. One participates in a health study where young medical students make him strip off and bend over so they can ram electronic devices inside his body, some visit professors, others even play chess with Ken and Mike in the staff lounge.

These are legitimate reasons for using free visitor parking instead of paying the standard parking fees — unlike the cheap bastards who park there with no visiting agenda.

Our reporter set up a hidden video on the location to document the sleaze-balls. While several students were discovered abusing this free parking zone, the majority of miscreants were people visiting the Saint John Regional Hospital. A Rothesay woman who refused to be named said she’d been parking there all summer for her daily visits to see her sick mother and could UNB have a little mercy please.

In our reporter’s opinion, the school shouldn’t be so charitable; they should tow her sorry-ass car. He followed this woman out of the campus to Walmart where she parked in a handicapped spot, then to a house in Forest Hills where she stayed for the weekend. Either she was lying about living in Rothesay and is a Saint Johner, or she’s like every other woman in Rothesay and sleeps where she pleases.

Today, some apparent scum-students walked from the library with books under their arms, threw them into their daddies’ expensive cars, and cursed at the reporter when he asked for their reason for parking there. We assume they were students as they didn’t look old enough to drink at the university’s Whitebone Lounge…as if anyone drinks there anyway.

An attempt to interview UNBSJ’s parking security failed as the slackers could not be found. It makes one wonder whether just anyone could get away with parking for free anywhere on the UNBSJ campus.

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