New Brunswick — Birdwatchers in the province are ecstatic about multiple sightings of a crested caracara roaming around New Brunswick. The rare, sexy bird, typically found in South America and the southern United States, is an unusual site this far north.
The bird of prey, which feeds mostly on bugs and carcasses, was shot on camera as well as a home video looking confused as fuck as to how it arrived in New Brunswick’s desolate wasteland.
We managed to track down the crested caracara to find out what made him Be… In This Place. Unbeknownst to us, the bird only spoke Spanish but our translator (Google Translate) was on site to help out.
Manatee: “We’re so glad to have you here! what brought you to our beautiful province?”
Caracara: “ Please help, very lost, where is I?”
Manatee: “You’re in New Brunswick! You were on the CBC the other day. You’re famous!”
Caracara: “Everyone take picture and video of me. Please help me get back! I don’t know how got here. Lots of tequila. Everything go dark. How far Guadalajara?”
Manatee: “Hey, New Brunswickers love drinking! You’ll fit right in. Just watch out for the glyphosate!”
We didn’t want to keep the bird for too long since we knew he’d want to get back to exploring all the must-see sites of the province.
We gave him a Parks Canada pass and wished him well in his travels as he kept frantically yelling something in Spanish at us, probably a way of saying goodbye in his homeland or something.