Fredericton art gallery to close its doors after cat-astrophic grand opening

Fredericton — Much of Fredericton’s artistic community is in mourning today after a new art gallery called “Drawbacks” had to close its doors 9 minutes after its grand opening. The first and last exhibit presented by the gallery, titled Catnada: an adorable and comprehensive review of Canadian history was, as the title annoyingly suggests, a re-creation of important events in Canadian history, with a cast made entirely of cats.

The cats, described by sources as “good cats,” started to turn on each other as well as on gallery visitors only a few minutes into the 4-hour presentation. “It all began in the Confederation diorama,” said Kitty Doyle, a local cat enthusiast. “The cat who played John A. MacDonald simply wouldn’t sign the Proclamation of Canadian Confederation. The other cats stalled for as long as they could, licking themselves and looking super cute, but there was only so much they could do.”

kittyThe cat-alyst is believed to have been when that same cat, supposedly in an act of protest, batted the ink bottle and quill right off the desk, startling and getting several cats wet in the process. In what could only be described as “a barrage of loveable fuzzy torpedoes,” the cats lunged into the crowd, latching onto the faces of patrons, spreading panic and in some cases causing people to sneeze.

“At first I thought it was part of the show, you know? I don’t know very much about Canadian history,” said cat-art lover Fran Dickenson. “How am I supposed to know what happened at some meeting in Charleston Town 50 years ago?”

Sources close the cat claim they saw this coming after the cat expressed frustration with the artistic direction the exhibit was taking by quote “not eating his num-nums.”

When asked why he would agree to such a stupid idea, the owner and operator of the gallery said he was simply trying to “cash in on this cat trend thing,” claiming that most of the people he knows “just stay home watching cat videos on YouTube anyways.”

Despite facing legal action, the owner of Drawbacks was able to find a silver lining. “Luckily, the thousand or so cats in the Acadian deportation installation were chained in the bowels of the ship. It could have been a lot worse.”


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