Fredericton — In a surprising case of irony, residents of the province’s capital will now be able to get treatment for many of their diseases at the very place they may have contracted them — the former iRock nightclub in the city’s downtown.
It was reported Tuesday evening by CBC that Fredericton’s Downtown Health Clinic will be relocating to the former nightclub location in December of this year.
The iRock was once a thriving hot-spot in Fredericton’s party scene. It was a place for men and women to lose their inhibitions, forget any responsibilities, wear as little as possible without being arrested and just enjoy life at its fullest.
“I used to love that place so much,” recalled Jimmy Henry, a student at UNB. “Me and the boys would cover ourselves in Axe, get out our best tanks, dust off the fedoras, slap on the shades and do Jägerbombs there all night long. Man, I had the best times of my life there… I think so, anyway. I can’t really remember.”
Health Minister Victor Boudreau spoke with The Manatee about the move.
“We’re hoping to infuse some of the nightclub’s feel into the health centre,” he suggested. “Normally, people hate going to the clinic, so we’re going to make this one cool. The building is still zoned as a nightclub, so we’re renewing the liquor licence, hiring DJs to play bad music, and trying to figure out how to incorporate the club’s popular ‘foam party’ into the waiting room.”
Boudreau said the province first started thinking about the former iRock building as a possible location for the new clinic after listening to the doctors at the clinic’s current location in the Centennial building.
“I think Mr. Boudreau missed the point of what I was telling him,” explained Dr. Mary Neeson, who works at the clinic. “I was telling him that a lot of my patients with STDs kept telling me that they contracted them after a night at the iRock.”
“I heard what she said,” countered Boudreau when asked about the Doctor’s comments. “And that just gave me another reason as to why it made total sense to move the clinic there — patients will already have good memories about the location. Probably not about the disease itself, of course, but they must have been having a good time before they contracted something.”
Reaction around the city was very positive about the relocation.
“They’re brining the Rock back!” cheered Mandy Holmstead-Weaver of the city’s north side. “I am so sick of the 20/20, and I’m actually just really sick too, so this is perfect for me.”
Mayor Brad Woodside cheered the province for the move as well.
“People always talk about how much they hate the doctor, and everyone loves a good time,” Woodside proclaimed. “So, it makes great sense to bring the 2 things together. It will either make the clinic great, or the club terrible. And in my experience, dance clubs always make things better.”