Saint John — Looks like some brand-new medical equipment will come… roaring into the Saint John Regional Hospital soon enough.
On Thursday, fresh after seeing Jurassic World, Premier Brian Gallant announced that his government will approve the controversial purchase of DNA sequencing equipment at the hospital, despite the fact that similar equipment already exists in Moncton.
“I just got back from seeing the movie,” Gallant said at the press conference, “and I was like, there is no way I’m going to pass up a chance to get something like that started up here in New Brunswick.”
Jeff McAloon, the chief executive officer of the hospital foundation, later clarified that the DNA sequencing equipment would not be used to create dinosaurs, but rather to understand and comprehend the internal structure of genes in DNA, and hopefully to be able to effectively create a more complex diagnosis, and determine more effective and personalized cures.
“Well, yeah, obviously they aren’t going to tell us that they’re doing it,” explained Gallant. “That would be a PR nightmare. It’s my guess that they will do it secretively, until one day — BAM — dinosaurs in the Maritimes.”
Gallant has said that although this decision has gotten a lot of flak from taxpayers, he remains very proud of it and his part in the medical advancements that are being made in the province.
“It’s crazy, but I kind of feel like I’m the Chris Pratt of New Brunswick, you know?” he said, flexing his muscles for our Manatee photographer, “…Eh?…Amiright?”
According to Gallant, this decision is more than simply a political one, but one that he feels personally connected to. He said that this kind of action was a long time coming for him and his administration.
“I was 11 years old when the first Jurassic Park movie came out,” he said. “For me, this feels like I’m getting in touch with my inner child again. I’m actually, finally, realizing the dreams of my younger self.”
Gallant’s eyes began to well up with pride as he sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor of his office, and smashed a T-rex action figure onto a small toy jeep.
“Rawr,” he said happily.