GNB hiring process switches to reality show format

GNB hiring process switches to reality show format

Fredericton — The Government of New Brunswick today announced important new changes to its hiring process. All applicants must now undergo a mandatory 10-week trial period, during which they must live with their co-applicants and compete in a series of work-related competitions.

Chief Employment Officer Rachel Quinn explained that the current process for hiring was much too simple and workers were often ill-prepared for actual work once they were employed.

“We want to ensure that all of our new hires are adequately prepared for their jobs and the reality show process will not only weed out the weak, but it will do so in a highly entertaining way,” said Quinn.

“Every competition will be filmed and broadcast nationally, so my hope is that we can showcase New Brunswick talent and increase our province’s reputation nationally.”

The contestants, who will be known simply as “the applicants,” will be grouped by job competition and language of preference.

When asked why the applicants would be divided in such a way, producer Steve Hart said that the goal is to make the show as real as possible.

“We want to be fair,” said Hart. “We can’t have a process improvement specialist compete with a customer service representative because their skillsets are completely opposite.”

“And we can’t have English-speaking applicants using their crib-notes French immersion French competing against fluently bilingual applicants from Dieppe,” Hart went on. “It just wouldn’t reflect reality.”

Competitions will mostly consist of tasks related to hours long Zoom meetings plagued by technical difficulties, but some of the competitions promise actual fun, perhaps even glee.

“I’m looking forward to the pension-calculation competition,” said Monique LeBlanc, who is applying for an administrative assistant position. “We get to calculate how much money we’re raking in on our pensions while taking extended coffee breaks!”

As with all reality shows, the contestants will be forced to share small quarters and reflect heavily on the day’s events as they are egged on by producers wishing to achieve a desired outcome.

“I hope I get cast as the villain,” said policy analyst applicant Jason Simmons. “My day job is so boring. The only way to make it good television is for me to be involved with drama in some way. The fact that we are all living in one of the vacant cubicles left by someone who works from home only adds to the tension, so I can definitely see drama being a big part of this show.”

When asked about filming such a series during an ongoing pandemic, associate producer Paula Greenwood said that she’s taking it as a positive.

“People are so tired of their bubble groups and phases that are every colour of the rainbow,” said Greenwood. “I think most people will risk getting Covd-19 just to experience something different. And the fact that they could spread the coronavirus during this process only adds to the intrigue, so it should boost our ratings.”

The series will be hosted by Saint John filmmaker Greg Hemmings, whose consistently positive attitude will make contestants cringe, creating a tension dynamic excellent for television.

“I want this series to be about love,” said Hemmings. “New Brunswick has the best people and the best cities and together, these new government employees will make New Brunswick great again. Oh wait, I mean, um, let me come up with another catchphrase…”

The new series, simply called GNB to add intrigue and mystery, will air on CBC every weeknight following Coronation Street, beginning in April.


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