Saint John — After the announcement on Tuesday that all cruise ships coming into Canada would be banned until February 2022, tourism companies across the nation began scrambling to find alternative sources of income. In New Brunswick, Port Saint John was no different.
“Considering the unpredictable nature of the ongoing pandemic, we really should have seen this move coming,” said Port Saint John president Issac Pullman. “But, we didn’t. Now we’re fucked.”
While the Marco Polo Cruise Terminal has hosted a number of cruise ships bearing wealthy tourists over the years, the pandemic has made the business model untenable.
“Okay, so we can’t have cruises. I get that. Too many people,” Pullman outlined, as if he were making it up as he went along. “But if we shift our focus away from large cruises, we can instead try to service a smaller, uh, more executive experience. You know what I mean?”
The Manatee did not. Noticing this, Pullman expanded.
“Canoes, kayaks, dinghies,” he said, as if this conclusion was perfectly obvious. “Hell, we don’t care if they come on a freaking pool noodle, so long as they’ve got money they’re itching to burn.”
He explained that there would have to be some serious structural changes made to the port to retrofit the current specifications of the terminal to suit smaller vessels.
“Oh my god, it’ll cost a fortune,” he said, with obvious concern. “But, we’re optimistic that this action will help keep the company afloat. I mean, it had better. Otherwise, we’re up shit’s creek without…”
He paused for a moment, frowning.
“Well, you get the idea.”