Fredericton — In a sudden and dramatic reversal, the federal and provincial governments of Canada are burning up their previous public health warnings about smoking.
Starting today with the legalization of pot, smoking is once again set to become a hot new trend across the nation. In New Brunswick in particular, lighting up a dried plant and inhaling smoke into human lungs is set to become an even more popular recreational pastime.
“We have stores stocked to the rafters with righteous reefer,” grinned Harry Briman, CEO of Cannabis New Brunswick. “We can’t sell the edible products — they aren’t legal yet. So, if you want our stuff, you’ve gotta puff! Heh heh…stuff…puff…ruff…ruff…bow wow…heh heh heh.”
The Government of New Brunswick has invested countless dollars on the promotion of smoking cessation. However, with its 20 new marijuana stores focussed on toke-able products, those admonishments are going up in smoke despite cannabis consumption having many of the same risks as tobacco smoking.
“The difference is it’s OK to smoke when you get the product from the government,” said Briman. “We’ve demonized, taxed and punished smokers for years. And, we even sued tobacco companies for selling an addictive and harmful product. But, we aren’t going to like…sue ourselves, man.
“Maybe we could like move all of the cigarettes and cigars into like, our Cannabis NB stores too, and the government could like, sell all of the smokable products…
“Whoa dude, I like, just blew my own mind…whoa,” said the glassy-eyed CEO.