Higgs offers new name for current COVID colour: ‘Kiddie Pool’

Higgs offers new name for current COVID colour: ‘Kiddie Pool’

New Brunswick — The provincial government recently announced the return of an Emergency Order that will again require citizens to reduce public contacts to a 20-person expanded bubble.

There are a number of other restrictions that bear a strong resemblance to the “yellow” stage of alert.

However, when challenged by The Manatee, Premier Blaine Higgs was unable to immediately state whether this is truly a return to the “yellow” conditions experienced for much of the Covid-19 pandemic.

“We’re not in red. We know that. And it’s not yellow,” said Higgs.

“It’s definitely not the not-red and not-yellow, tangerine-in-between that we were in during late spring,” clarified Dr. Jennifer Russell, the province’s Chief Medical Officer of Health. “Nor is it the less-orange but not-yet-yellow that followed. Man, that was confusing. If we muddied the conditions any further, we were going to have to hire a visual arts major to help identify the next colour.”

But the question remains: are we still in green?

“Well yes,” said Higgs. “We are. But it’s not a green-green, if you know what I mean. It’s a green that’s a bit yellow, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes,” agreed Russell. “Yellow-ish, but not yellow. Green with a touch of yellow.”

“Definitely more yellow than anyone wants,” Higgs continued, before grinning slightly. “A little like the kiddie pool at the end of the season, if you know what I mean.”

Higgs and Russell shared a strange gaze for several seconds.

“Kiddie pool,” Higgs declared. “That’s what colour we’re in. And trust me, the people of New Brunswick won’t  want to find themselves any deeper than we already are.”



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