Bathurst — Residents of New Brunswick’s hospitable northern city are celebrating their new job opportunities after famous Swedish furniture store Ikea announced today that it would be opening a new location by the north shore. City council is hosting a free dinner gala at the K.C. Irving Centre this Saturday evening and invited all 246 employable Chaleur region youth to come devour Swedish meatballs in honour of the city’s new cultural hub.
“This is great for tourism, this is great for jobs, this is just the best thing that ever could have happened to Bathurst,” said Mayor Sven Bürneet, who changed his name to better suit Bathurst’s new economic driving force.
City council also opted to begin changing street signs to their Swedish names to kill two birds with one stone — satisfying Ikea and finally ending the French versus English street sign debate.
But while Bathurst is revelling in their salvation, New Brunswick’s southern cities have an ominous dark cloud growing overhead.
“This makes no sense. All the big stores always go to Moncton. Or at least Fredericton. I don’t want to have to get my cheap and easy furniture in Bathurst,” spouted an irate Lynda Sorenson of Moncton.
“I’d even go to Saint John. Someone needs to tell those Swedes that they belong in one of the big three cities.”
This historic moment for Bathurst has some youth thinking twice about leaving the region after high school — easing the fears of an increasingly aging population.
“It’s almost like travelling abroad or working for a multinational company, but from home,” said Jonah Clarke, a Grade 12 student at Bathurst High School.
“I was going to go into engineering at UNB, but I can learn all those skills here now and just live with my parents to save money.”
Ikea plans to build their new warehouse in the Bathurst industrial park by February of 2015, and has stated that they will begin accepting job applications right away.
This is great news for Bathurst! So happy!!!!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Why doesn’t it make sense to come to Bathurst to shop? The north always have to go south. It’s about time that it changes!
LMAO, this is satire. It’s not real
Lynda Sorenson is a f**king idiot!
OMG! Isn’t she a hag?
OMG! She is a hag.
Listen you guys in the southern part of the province get everything! I am from Campbellton and while it isnt here im glad something good came to the area.. the area to me is within an hour drive from here. You guys from the south have no idea how many people the whole north shore serves on a weekly basis. Think about how many people live in the whole Gaspe coast and that is what we serve as well as the north shore of the province. I manage a cell phone shop in Campbellton and half of our clients come from Quebec because they dont have anything(for the most part) down the Gaspe coast all the way to Amqui.
So suck it up and stick with your ever growing cities that get everything. Your complaining about driving to bathurst for furniture while you have 25 other stores to choose from,ha! We have 2-3 to choose from. I dont feel sorry for you guys. We sit up here and cant even get provincial funding for our provincial park and your crying about a furniture store, give me a break!
This is fake!!!!!! OMG what is in your water back home that you all believe fake articles. It’s called satire
This is completely crazy. There are two aspects, in my opinion, as to why.
1) An Ikea in the north will not be a very successful store. You do not have the population to support it, and you are not a shipping hub (close to Halifax). It will be popular and exciting for a year or two but then will be barren and empty. Online sales will be good, as shipping will now be feasible but your store is going to be a ghost town (kind of like Bathurst).
2) An Ikea is not a long term employment solution… do you actually think your youth are going to want long term careers as stock workers? How could you possibly wish that on them, its tragic. You should be ENCOURAGING your children to leave home, get an education, and find a career they are passionate about.
If you’re seriously banking on an Ikea to save your outdated and backward society you are going to be so very disappointed. Everyone I’ve spoken too will not be traveling to Bathurst (5 hours) for an Ikea, as you have nothing else to offer. We’ll all just order online, like we do now.
The Moncton, Fredericton and Saint John people are selfish and should shut their mouths. Why does the Northern part of the Province support any stores in Moncton or Saint John or Fredericton? We should all stop travelling to Moncton, Fredericton or Saint John to spend our money. If these people don’t like supporting the Northern part of the Province screw them all.
Sure spend your money at the IKEA store that is not opening. This is not real
Because you don’t have the population to support a store like that.
Despite the fact that it is a fake story, I don’t see an IKEA going in anywhere in the Maritimes other than Halifax or Moncton. Comes down to surrounding population and location. Moncton would be smart as it is centrally located to all 3 Maritime provinces.
You’re being reamed in shipping fees, buddy! Just sayin’! Cheaper to fill up your truck and head to Bathurst for IKEA! Better than bending over for Canada Post, eh?! Or buying that cheap pressboard crap from Walmart! Hey, you can grab some Dixie Lee while you’re there! Make a day of it!
keep scrolling to the bottom of the page untill you find a little thing called a disclaimer… then slap yourself in the face for believing such satire.
I’m far from outraged. It’s time for some wins in the Northern region of the province. If anything, Southern NB should celebrate…this is a win for the province. Now folks will buy in NB instead of ordering from Montreal.
The province does not revolve around the triangle of Moncton, Fredericton, Saint John. The reason those regions grew economically is because of having similar wins …just like Bathurst is now getting.
This is about baby steps. Each small win may not be a long term employment solution BUT it makes a dent, and opens the door for other opportunities.
<> this is a really sad comment – giving up engineering to work at IKEA??? I’m originally from SE NB and currently living in Campbellton, I personally think there are debatable pros and cons to having someone like IKEA setup shot either in Bathurst or in Moncton – the saddest of all would be a big corporation such as IKEA taking from the local economy, will all the local furniture suppliers be able to compete? But worst of all is if it creates a dependency and young people loose a motivation to dream big and figure I don’t need a university degree, we’ve got big companies like Walmart and IKEA there to take care of us
It’s a satire site…not real.
You guys all know this is a fake news site, right?
Nope… they do not. LOL
No they don’t, and I can’t believe other business owners were commenting on here on how this is a good idea. A business owner couldn’t even spot this was satire
someone from “THE GREAT BIG CITY OF MONCTON” (ummmm yeah ok) thought it would be funny to poke fun at Bathurst… bravo. Ah well they can keep their minimum wage service industry jobs there and have most most of their youth with debt ratio well over the Canadian standard.
Does no one here get that this is satire?
How in the $@&! Is selling furniture at minimum wage going to make up for an engineering degree at UNB!?!?!?
Why is everyone on this site commenting like it’s real news? Is that part of the joke?
Just goes to show how people open their mouths before knowing the whole story. Or in this case READING the whole story. Do you actually think that the mayor would change his name and some kid would opt out of an engineering degree to work at Ikea? Give your head a shake, people. Its fake.
They believed the lies from anti everything people-why not this?
Not going to ever go to Bathurst dumb move ikea.
Your an idiot John
The fact that 95% of the above comments demonstrate a failure to recognize this post as satirical indicates to me that New Brunswick’s gene pool has been so depleted by the migration westward that our province has passed the point of no return. Shut ‘er down, boys.
Good one! Check out the spelling of the mayor’s name in the article: Sven Bürneet lol Sweet
Linda Sorensen is a politician in the Northwest Territories… I dont think she cares! Lol
This is amazing! Next thing you know, we’ll have a Pottery Barn and JC Penney here! Miramichi can KEEP their Giant Tiger! I am *so* going bankrupt with all of this!
Haha…great satire…so is This Is That ( CBC Radio); did you know there is a company in Toronto harvesting the stainless steel and titanium from the ashes of cremated bodies? True dat!!
Your provincial government is allowing Ikea to keep all provincial tax that you pay at the tilt and the town of Bathurst are giving them no charges to property tax and no city tax for 15 years. This was negotiated in Toronto by Bathurst in June 2014 and by NB and Ottawa in Montreal in November 2013. Old news .
Lynda Sorensen needs to get over herself and realize there are more cities in NB than Moncton! Yes some are smaller for sure but maybe this is the boost they needed. Bathurst was once a thriving city when the mills and mines were open. Bravo Bathurst and best of luck! Totally happy for our neighbors to the north.
This article is fake buddy! Read it again and truly pay attention this time 🙂
No Natalie, don’t tell them to read it again. I am enjoying reading the comments. lol
If it was a true article, it would be an awesome move on Ikea’s part. If people from Bat’hurst could assemble their products, they’d know anybody could. 🙂
So, you think that working at IKEA is going to give you the same life experience and education as travelling abroad and getting an Engineering degree from UNB? You might want to rethink that!
OMG, this article is fake. It’s satire. lol
That’s hilarious I’m gonna stay in Bathurst will become a stock boy I wouldn’t want to become an engineer now
More to the point if it were a true story Put it (IKEA) in Amherst N.S. Moncton 1Hour Borden P.E.I 45 min. Truro 1 Hour Halifax 2 hours and Bathurst 3 Hours Bonus there would be no need to have the mandatory bilingual staff well maybe the could get a few mi’kmaq or Gaelic speakers on staff.
cant be true…if so…I’m boycottting IKEA…stupid place to put anything
Are these comments for real, or are they just part of the story?? I’m truly hoping my fellow NBers aren’t this gullible :S
lol – the comment thread is as good as the article…
The comment thread is better than the article…although I am now weeping at the idiocy of my fellow humans
Congratulations land of the thirsty bath for you new Ikea-strubble. You now have much access to many tvättställ accessories. Basing on how many outbildade people commented on this article, I think you should have many monkeys running around in aisles.
P.S.: Jag undrar hur många jävla idioter tar min kommentar på lika stort allvar som de tog den här artikeln?
I am amazed at the premature announcement of what was supposed to be a well guarded secret…one which I have been aware of for over four months.. Now that the news is out, I must divulge the facts as relayed to me by my nephew, a valued employee of IKEA in Brossard for twenty plus years, and set them straight.
IKEA actually has plans to open a warehouse on the old Smurfit mill site in Bathurst. Southern NBers have nothing to fear or lose as this will be a warehouse only and they will have the same catalogue shopping opportunities as their Northern neighbours.
My nephew, who will be moving to Bathurst to manage the operation, does not know exactly when this will take place as there is some site preparation to be done before they can move in the modules but is looking forward to the move.
One building, the former office complex, remains intact on the mill site and he is looking forward to converting it into living space for himself and extended family from Montreal, who incidentally are all fluently bilingual…a good fit for New Brunswick’s North Shore.
I just had an interview for the Ikea in Bathurst… I think it looks good!!!!!!
1. Ikea is most certainly not going to Bathurst.
2. It won’t even be coming to Moncton; it is just too small a city.
3. It’s satire, reread it – do you think Bathurst is going to change all its street names to Swedish ones? hee hee!
Article was pretty funny but the outraged comments were gold! 🙂
The story is a smoke screen intended to divert attention from the real plan: DND has agreed to rename the country’s largest army base near Oromocto to ‘CFB Ikea’. In return, the company will retrofit the base’s PMOs, barracks, and offices with factory seconds and returns (some assembly required) plus two future NHL first-round draft picks and 200,000 Twitter followers.
lol, the swedes don’t know much about what they are doing. Halifax is where it should be, bigger population.
As an engineer in Bathurst, I am not sure how to feel about this …
What an awesome article 🙂
Well with like mined people like that Lynda hag it is a no wander like little cities like our beautiful Bathurst gets nothing that would improve our economy in which we need dearly, I will not be afraid to say she is a rude and ignorant hag with some I have my nose stuck so far up my ass issues and needs to come off her high horse thinking she is the know it all my rant for today!!!! I think it is a great idea and would bring much more to Bathurst that we need and possibly more companies will follow and Bathurst will build it’s self back up.
Nouveau-Brunswick, stop believing everything you read!
There’s no way that IKEA would ever go to northern New Brunswick. Ever.
IKEA’S model is to have a catchment area of 1 million people who live within less than an hour’s drive. That doesn’t exist there.
Like I said – EVER!
Fake news story. Carry on.
I’m a resident of Moncton and I think it’s amazing that Ikea is in Bathurst. It’s about time that Bathurst, Miramichi and surrounding areas get companies to start building in their areas.
For years the North paid most of the bills for the Province,, with all the Mills, mines.. and the fisheries… the only true city that had good jobs was St john… Moncton and Fredericton where welfare cities and in a way it still is…It only runs because of the monies from the rest of the province… in Government offices and the Big box stores.. and universities… We stand tall in the smaller communities
That lady from Moncton complaining, Saying the 3 big cities? Moncton is just a Small city not big lol.
You morons don’t even realise that this is a satirical website…The story is fake. Meanwhile is REAL news IKEA is actually coming back to Halifax and that is actually in The Chronicle Herald, not this crap site…
Omg you morons aren’t smart enough to realise this story is fake? It’s on a satirical website. IKEA is moving to Halifax…It was in the Chronicle Herald.
I don’t care where they open as long as its the maritimes and within a 4 hour drive from moncton – I lived in Ont. for 10 years (kitchener) and it was a 2 hour drive to the nearest ikea. it never made sense from a logica stand point that they would open in Bathurst – not that they don’t deserv a major shopping chain in the area but from a business stand point it never made sense for the obvious reasons shipping, population. and market – a store like Ikea would need enough of a population to sustain it all day everyday, and people are not gonna drive 4-5 hours daily to shop,. also u can only get so much at ikea, so once u have what u need a person is not going to go back for a few weeks. so for ikea they have to play to the masses right or wrong its business.
OMG! Use your bloody head. Read, and think! I bet you believed the house hippo commercial too.
Well, for one hilarious articles. But you also made me realise how stupid people in New Brunswick really are. They dont know what satire or wry humor is.. let alone spell it correctly. Reading all those comments actually ruined my morning. Wonderful.