New Brunswick — The Bank of Canada will be hiking interest rates sometime in the new year, which will drastically impact the lives of thousands of New Brunswickers carrying car loans, lines of credit and mortgages.
“Even with a small increase, New Brunswickers are really going to feel the pinch,” said Newscastle-based financial analyst Beth Cooper. “There are, however, a few surefire ways to cut back on spending, increase savings, and pay down debt faster during this quarter.”
1. Borrow more money from your parents: Moms and dads are the banks that never close. Even if you’re in your 30s and haven’t spoken to them in months, they pretty well have to give you a handout based on guilt, religion and a whole host of other factors related to your childhood. They don’t want to see you floundering because it looks bad on them, so hit them up for a zero-interest loan as soon as possible.
2. Bury money: New Brunswickers may be short on cash, but we’ve got lots of land and wide open spaces. If you’ve got any money at all, bury it where no one will find it. Real banks should not be trusted as they’re just a bunch of capitalist swindlers — put your money in the ground before you’re tempted to spend it.
3. Buy an extra house so you can sell it later: Some New Brunswickers have financially overextended themselves in their homes, leaving them very little wiggle room in the event of an interest-rate hike. Homebuyers who rush out to purchase properties to beat a spike in rates often end up with homes plunging in value, but 2 homes means twice the value.
4. Get fired so you can claim EI: Unfortunately, you can’t claim employment insurance if you quit your job, but if you’re working at a call centre like most New Brunswickers, there are some simple ways to get laid off. Fall asleep at your desk, tell your supervisor what you really think of them, violate the dress code — all are effective.