Kindergarten student arrested for alleged name-calling

Marysville — A 5-year-old kindergarten student was arrested Thursday morning after police were called to Gibson-Neill Memorial Elementary School on Fredericton’s north side to investigate claims of name-calling and hurt feelings. Officers were reportedly on scene within minutes of receiving a call from school officials stating that they had lost control of the tense situation.

Jessica Garner was the teacher who alerted authorities after witnessing the malicious acts occur during indoor recess. “It’s been so cold outside lately the kids have had to spend all of their breaks in the classroom,” she recalled, expressionless, still in shock over what she saw. “The boy was upset that he couldn’t get the book that he wanted, because another boy had already signed it out, and he just lost it.”

owen1The alleged perpetrator is said to have then berated the victim with an obscenity-laced tirade, which onlookers were able to recount for The Manatee. “I saw the boy try and take that ham and egg book away from the other boy,” claimed classmate Abigail Morehouse. “And when he couldn’t get it, he called him a ‘big poopy head’ and said that he smelled ‘like a fart.’ So I went and got the teacher.”

The accused, whose identity is protected under the Youth Criminal Justice Act, was apprehended without protest by local police and taken into custody immediately. The boy is currently being held on bail, which has been set at $18, but his parents want the boy to have to spend a few nights behind bars so he can think long and hard about what he’s done.

The parents have suggested the boy will not be returning home until he apologizes to the victim; however, the boy told The Manatee he has no plans of apologizing and is content to spend his days away from school anyway. “I don’t wanna say sorry to him,” he explained from behind bars. “He’s just a fart-smelling poopy head.”

The prosecution is looking to have the boy tried as an adult due to mitigating factors. “The mere fact that he shows no remorse for his actions, and just the overall hurtfulness of the words he was saying, really compels us to seek the full punishment that is available,” explained Crown Prosecutor Joanna Preston.

If convicted, the accused could face upwards of 25 years in prison. The defense is reportedly seeking a much lesser sentence involving 10 minutes of timeout for a week straight, no ice cream after dinner, a written apology letter and no Power Rangers for a month.

  1. What language!!!!!! An additional week of time-outs and no dessert is deserved for such outrageous behaviour.
    Now I don’t want to open a can of worms here, but did this kid even consider his classmate may be french? Discrimination!

    Reply
  2. And a week of rehab at the library where hopefully he will learn to share with less fortunate (fart smelling) people, before it’s too late and he goes down the road of habitual name callers. Sad indeed.

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