Minto mayor declares village a 'metropolis'

Minto — Minto Mayor Eric Barnett officially declared the small village a “metropolis” today during their monthly council meeting. Wasting no time, Barnett hosted the “City” of Minto’s inauguration outside the council chambers only moments afterward.

The event was made up of a relatively large crowd of 7 people — nearly half the village’s total population — and was accompanied by the musical stylings of Bottleneck Jeff, who eagerly strummed his guitar with his howling hound while Minto’s welcome sign was officially changed through the use of spray-paint to read “Welcome/Bienvenu to the Great City of Minto!”

“I simply looked at what was going on around,” explained Barnett. “The city is booming. We’ve opened a hairdresser, a sushi restaurant and 2 — count ‘em — 2 brand-spankin’-new bars, and that is just this year alone. It was clear to me that Minto was no longer the little town that daddy grew up in, you know?”

MintofinalAccording to Barnett, the city’s population is beginning to expand as well.

“Scott and Mary Trow just had twins back in September, so we’ve experienced a huge spike this past year,” he said. “The older of the 2 is already being groomed for city council.”

The rising population and increased industry in the small village has led some to worry that the current policing situation may no longer be adequate to serve and protect the area. We asked the sheriff what her plans were for improving local security.

“Mooooo,” she said, before chewing some grass and walking farther out into the pasture.

Although Barnett jokingly stated that he isn’t holding out hope for the 2024 Olympics, he said that he was, in fact, leading the bid for Minto to replace Fredericton as New Brunswick’s capital.

“I mean, have you seen at the statistics?” he asked. “Fredericton’s population has gone up, what, 11 percent since 2006? Minto has exponentially increased every single year since the census. Not to mention the great economic growth prospects — there are no bleeding-heart university brats to get in the way of industry here.”

Since Minto is now a booming metropolis, does Barnett feel that there should be some reshaping of government, and perhaps re-election to accompany the area’s transition?

“Oh no, don’t be ridiculous,” he said with a smile.

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