NB deploying mangers to hospitals to resolve bed shortage

NB deploying mangers to hospitals to resolve bed shortage

New Brunswick — In an urgent effort to resolve the lack of staffed beds at New Brunswick hospitals, the government announced today that it will be deploying 250 new mangers to health care facilities across the province.

And, Health Minister Dorothy Shephard also pledged to have at least half of those mangers in place by Easter Monday.

The pilot program comes in response to the Paramedic Association of N.B.’s comments that ambulances cannot drop off patients quickly at New Brunswick hospitals due to a lack of workers to staff hospital beds.

Shephard said today that during this holiest week of the year, she is drawing inspiration from the life of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

“We have a severe shortage of staffed beds in New Brunswick hospitals, and we are reminded this week of the most famous bed shortage in history!” Shephard said. “There was no room for Jesus’s family either, so His parents used a manger for His bed when he was born. So, if it’s good enough for our Lord and Saviour, it’s good enough for New Brunswickers!”

The Health Minister added that Premier Higgs is playing a key role in this plan. “The Premier actually builds these adult-sized mangers himself in his garage, and he’s been at it all week. He and Kris Austin can knock out about 15 of these per day. It’s really quite impressive!”

When asked how an oversized animal feed trough will resolve the shortage of hospital workers to staff beds, Shephard was incredulous.

“Okay, I can tell you’re not getting it yet, let me explain. You build the manger and put someone in it, and before you know it three wise men — or women, whatever — will show up.

“We think there’s a good chance that at least one of them will be a doctor. Multiply that by 250 mangers, and we’ve solved our doctor shortage!” she smiled.

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