NB sperm bank to introduce trade-in option

Moncton — The Conceptia clinic in Moncton is feeling the burden of a hurting economy just as much as any other New Brunswick business, and they’re not waiting around for things to change. “Who knows how long this economic struggle will last,” said the clinic’s spokesperson, Jennifer Allaby. “We need to accept that our business is changing, and we need to change with it. That’s why we’re offering our new service; it opens us up to a huge, previously untapped market.”

The service Allaby is referring to is one where women have the option of “upgrading” their partner’s sperm for that of a more attractive candidate. Allaby explained the service: “Maybe you love your husband or boyfriend or whatever and you want to have kids with him, but you don’t want them to be his kids. Maybe he has qualities that you don’t want your child to have, like a big forehead or big ears or some annoying personality traits that you’d like to avoid in your child.”

The service would be available to anyone looking to trade the healthy sperm of one person for that of another one for the purposes of procreating. A client would first come in to begin the selection process where they can see photos and read profiles of the current donors on file. They would then make the appropriate arrangements with their spouse in scheduling the trade-in.

We asked Allaby what would happen with the donation once it was traded in. “Well, you know the old saying, ‘the grass is always greener,’” she explained. “There’s always someone looking for something different in their donors, and we’re confident that all of our samples will be used well.”

The Manatee was able to speak with an interested client in the Moncton area. “I love the idea!” proclaimed an enthusiastic Melissa Tomander. “I love my man and all, but he never listens to me, maybe that’s a genetic trait because his dad was deaf, too.” Tomander said her husband wasn’t interested in this program and he declined to comment on this situation when we contacted him.


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