NDP Leader Cardy ‘done putting up with this sh*t’

NDP Leader Cardy ‘done putting up with this sh*t’

Fredericton — In Harper Lee’s latest novel, the main character says of her father, “I can’t beat you, I can’t join you.” It appears that New Brunswick’s NDP Leader Dominic Cardy has similar sentiments about his own political party.

In a frustrated and rambling statement released yesterday, Cardy says that he is done putting up with his party’s “stupid sh*t.” Saying that when it comes to party infighting, he “literally can’t even anymore” and he is refusing to spend another calendar year bickering with party members.

“This group is as harmonious as a Mariah Carey New Year’s Eve performance,” lamented Cardy. “If there’s one thing that politics in 2016 has taught me, it’s that sometimes you can’t convince people to support you no matter what you do or what the alternative is. They can kiss my pasty, freckled ass. I’ll be on the first horse out of this podunk party.”

“So much for the ‘Cardy Party,'” said political scientist Malcolm Richardson. “The NDP were MIA in 2016, and now we know why. Since the last election, the party has been declining in popularity. Thanks to these internal distractions, the NDP is now polling lower than the premier’s dog, Blaze.

“When you’re the fourth-place party in a province like New Brunswick, no one wants to watch you argue. It’s like seeing a shouting match at the chess club meeting, or nerds fighting over Kirk or Picard. It’s unseemly… it just makes people uncomfortable and ultimately nobody cares,” he concluded.

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