New Brunswick citrus-lover fears he may have Lyme disease

New Brunswick citrus-lover fears he may have Lyme disease

Fredericton — Amidst the rising concerns of Lyme disease in the province, one Fredericton man is convinced that his love for all things lime is a direct result of contracting the disease at a young age.

“Ever since I was little I’ve loved everything to do with limes,” lamented Edward Hanson. “They say you get it from being in the woods, mostly, and that’s where I spent the bulk of my childhood growing up in Noonan.”

Hanson told The Manatee that he had never put much thought into his self-confessed obsession with limes until he “kinda read” a recent CBC article about the increase in Lyme disease cases. But since almost reading the article, he’s become worried about the possible effects of the disease and has said that his love for limes is making more sense all the time.

“Early on in my teenage years I just started loving everything lime,” he recalled. “I loved eating them, I loved drinking lime-flavoured Big 8 pop, eating key-lime pie, downloading things on Limewire, and pretty much all of my clothes were lime green — it totally explains why I loved Yoda, The Hulk and leprechauns so much, too.”

Our reporter asked Hanson if he has experienced any actual symptoms of Lyme disease, or if he’s seeking any sort of treatment for it.

“Well, I’ve been too afraid to go to the doctor so I haven’t been officially diagnosed as of yet,” he admitted. “And I didn’t see ‘poor fashion choices’ listed as an official symptom on WebMD, but maybe they just haven’t put two and two together yet like I have. And no, I haven’t gone through any sort of treatment, but I have started gradually switching over to more lemon flavours and introducing some different citrus into my diet.”

Though it was difficult to find any friends of Hanson, our reporter was able to track down one person who admitted to knowing him.

“We’re definitely not friends,”reiterated Colby Lovelace who recognized Hanson from always coming into the grocery store where she works. “He’s here almost every day buying mostly the same things: limes, lime sherbet, pop and those terrible Hint of Lime Tostitos that no one else ever buys.”

When asked whether she thought that Hanson could potentially have Lyme disease, Lovelace was quick to dismiss the idea. “I mean sure, it’s possible — but I think it’s way more likely that he’s just an idiot.”

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