New Brunswick — The provincial minister of infrastructure, Holinda Rhodes, has been forced to admit that no actual construction happens in 80 percent of construction zones.
“Well, we do consider it more cost-efficient to store the pylons and construction signs right in the left lane of a major highway than it would be to build a storage warehouse,” she said.
“And just think of those people who just moved here from Toronto. We need to find ways of increasing their commute times closer to what they had in the GTA so they will feel right at home in New Brunswick.”
When asked about the poor quality of asphalt leading to early deterioration of highways, Rhodes replied, “Well, it is far cheaper to have potholes appear than to build speed bumps. If you build high-quality highways, people will speed and cause collisions, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?
“Plus,” she added, “who else would hire drug addicts? They’re pretty good working with broken pavement. You just have tell them there’s some crack in the road and their eyes just light up.”