St. Andrews touch tank to shut down due to unwanted animal touching
St. Andrews — What was once New Brunswick’s most fun-filled educational aquarium is now the scene of an alleged crime.…
New Brunswick legislature unable to order pizza
Fredericton — Brian Gallant’s first months in office have been marked by bold, sometimes unpopular decisions. None, it would seem,…
Mother blames 6-year-old bedwetter for flooding in Saint John
Saint John — Long-suffering single mother Aubrey Wray was able to successfully convince her 6-year-old son Michael that last Friday’s…
Super-villain lost amid hot-air balloons during Sussex festival
Sussex — The Sussex Police Force has confirmed that infamous super villain Dr. Terrible is still on the loose after…
New Brunswick legalizes gay fracking
Fredericton — The Picture Province has been issuing marriage licences for same-sex couples since 2005. Hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, is…
NB Power to punish trespassers by drowning them
Fredericton — NB Power has had enough of goddamned trespassers. At a press conference today, NB Power spokesperson Pierre Leblanc…