New Brunswick — With the provincial election less than a week away, a new poll released by CBC indicates that regardless of the results, you’ll probably still be unhappy with how the province is governed and with your life in general.
“This poll just confirms what we already know,” explained CBC election analyst Maria Cortez. “People like being unhappy and complaining about things — it’s just human nature. So even if the party you support comes out victorious next Monday, you’re still going to be left with the same crappy things you had before and you’re still going to complain about whatever the government is doing.”
More than 20,000 people in the province were questioned last week on general election issues along with everyday life issues.
“We asked about fracking, education costs, health care,” continued Cortez. “And then we got into more mundane issues, too. We asked people if they like their wardrobe, their living situation, their spouse, children, job, et cetera.
“It was apparent early on that New Brunswickers aren’t happy. They’re not happy with the government, sure. But mainly, they really don’t like their lives. After talking to so many people last week, though, I can’t say I blame them.”
The Manatee obtained a copy of the 30 survey questions. Respondents were asked to rate the items on a scale of very poor, poor, neutral, good and very good. A sample can be seen below:
- How do you rate the current government’s stance on fracking in the province?
- How do you rate the Opposition’s views on available abortion services in New Brunswick?
- How do you rate your spouse (if you have one)?
- How do you rate the most recent article of clothing you purchased for yourself?
- What do you think others would think of your lifestyle?
- If you have children, how would you rate them?
- How would you rate your breakfast this morning?
- How do you think Brian looks when he wakes up in the morning?
- How do you think you are in bed?
- How’s your relationship with your mother?
Though CBC has advised that these current polling results aren’t definitive, Cortez does think they paint an accurate picture of the province’s future after next week’s election.
“At first, supporters will be happy,” she suggested, “but that will only last a couple of days at most. And then as soon as people get back to living their normal, boring lives, that’s when the depression will set back in and people will realize it doesn’t really matter what they do — we’re all basically doomed.”