Saint John — Groucho Marx once said, “I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” And according to the balance sheet of the city of Saint John, Mayor Don Darling can relate.
On Thursday, Darling made the blunt announcement that the city of Saint John is completely “broke,” and the city will be taking significant steps to address the crisis.
Less than a day later, Darling declared that Saint John is going to pack up and move in with the Kennebecasis Valley for an undetermined amount of time.
“It’ll just be for a little while,” said Darling. “You know, until we get back on our feet again. Don’t worry, we’ll share groceries and stuff…as much as we can anyways. You know what? We’ll figure it out. It will be fine.
“Hey, can you tell us the Wi-Fi password?”
Starting today, the residents of the entire city of Saint John are moving 20 minutes away to the suburban communities of the Kennebecasis Valley — Rothesay and Quispamsis. The strategy would allow the city to save on municipal services for residents and share the well-funded public services of their neighbours.
Valley mayors Gary Clark and Nancy Grant say they didn’t see this coming. “I’m a bit surprised that they asked, to be honest,” said Grant. “We hang out every day but it’s not like we’re best friends or anything. They kind of put us on the spot, I felt like we couldn’t say no.”
While unpacking another box of pocket scarves, Darling said, “I swear this is only temporary, and we’ll be gone before you know it. If we get sick of each other, we’ll just go crash in Grand Bay for a couple of days to give each other space. I know we can make this work.
“By the way…is the Kraft Dinner on the stove for everybody?”