Saint John — In a city already renowned for its nightlife and wide assortment of bars, Saint John is now slated to open a new establishment, one catered toward a very specific demographic.
As every child from New Brunswick has always been told, to make any money you need to go out west. Head to Alberta, go to the oil fields, the real money is out by the Rockies. This piece of wisdom given by many New Brunswick parents is not exclusive to our small province, however, or even to the Maritimes.
Hundreds of Newfoundlanders who were not content to attend Memorial University or become cod fishermen — which as far as we could tell were the only two options for the Newfie youth — decided to head for the mainland to see what else this vast nation of ours had to offer. Many made it to Ontario and beyond, finding great success despite their peculiar accents and mannerisms. Some, however, were less fortunate and never made it beyond the borders of New Brunswick.
It is to that unfortunate group that the proposed establishment will cater.
“Be a mini-St John’s up along by’. Home away from home for anyone who foolishly chose to leave the Rock,” proposed owner Marty O’Hannigan told The Manatee. “Ain’t just for da townies, da baymen are welcome too.”
The establishment is set to offer not only liquor, which they will have in abundance, but also some sit-down meals.
“We’ll have loads of steak and Vienna sausages for da b’ys,” O’Hannigan explained before further clarifying that by steak he really meant fried bologna. “Some steamed cabbage, some turnips. You name it. The goal is to make dem feel right like they’re back home, so we’ll even have a coupl’a drinkin’ sheds out back fer da b’ys who really wanna get smashed.”
The bar’s name, ’s, will of course be a pun on the name of Newfoundland’s capital, St John’s.
“People are always mixing up [Saint John and St. John’s] anyway,” O’Hannigan explained, “so we figured we’d find a way to bridge the two. Course we’ll ask any b’y comin’ in where y’ longs to, and if they’re gutfounded we’ll fire up a scoff for’em, but then the b’ys in around where the [unintelligible] black rum and if [unintelligible] whad’ya at he says to da by’s down there when at [unintelligible] and of course some cod too.”
Though our interview lasted well over an hour due to the man’s boundless hospitality, only brief excerpts were able to be understood and put to paper. Regardless, we here at The Manatee wish him the best.
Long may yer big jib draw.