Screen time report lets iPhone users know they’re losers every Sunday morning

Screen time report lets iPhone users know they’re losers every Sunday morning

Atlantic Canada — Each and every Sunday morning, iPhone users get an updated screen time report that shows them just how addicted they were to their phones during the previous week.

“Up 32 percent from last week? You’ve got to be kidding me!” exclaimed Halifax resident Mary-Anne Couture while skimming her weekly report. “I swear this week I tried not to be on it all the time. Those stupid conference calls are what drove it up, I bet. Why can’t my co-workers be more interesting?”

Couture told The Manatee that when she first noticed the report a couple of months ago, she was mortified by what she saw, questioned its accuracy, and even thought about switching to Samsung. 

“Honestly, at first I didn’t think the amount it was showing was even possible,” she recounted, while scrolling through her Instagram feed. “I started doing the math in my head and thought there was no way I was on my phone for an average of nine and half hours a day. When I added it up, though, it was right — I felt like such a loser.”

Couture claims she mainly uses her phone for work-related purposes.

“Mostly just for emails or searching for something I need for my job,” she said, clearly trying to make herself believe it. “And of course I get texts from co-workers and I have to check Facebook to look at work stuff and check in on people and whatever.

“Gotta keep my Twitter and Instagram up to date and can’t miss the Snapchat stories just in case there’s something important. I really only use it at work and when I’m not doing anything at home. Or when I’m out to dinner or lunch or at a movie or out with friends or something like that.

“A little bit before I fall asleep and a bit when I wake up before I get out of bed, too. Or I guess when I’m waiting at a red light or driving in slow traffic I might glance at my phone…or when I’m on the highway and there’s nothing to worry about.”

Our reporter asked Couture whether the report motivates her to make any changes to her daily usage habits.

“Oh, it sure does,” she admitted happily. “I’m going to start using my iPad a lot more so the report wouldn’t look so bad.”


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