New Brunswick — With gas prices skyrocketing across the Maritimes and around the world, people whose “I can’t come due to COVID” reason is wearing thin can thank sanctions on Russian fuel for a brand-new excuse: the price of gas.
At 12:01 this morning, all COVID-19 restrictions were dropped in New Brunswick — which means introverts are scrambling for a new reason to say no to parties, family dinners, church and even work.
“My boss was on my back about coming back to the office, and I always said that I couldn’t risk getting COVID and bringing it home to my family,” said Jason Spencer of Moncton. “Now, just in the nick of time, I can say I can’t afford to burn fuel. He knows what he pays me. It’s perfect, really.”
Tammy Allen of Penniac expressed similar sentiments.
“My old-faithful excuse when I didn’t want to go to my mother-in-law’s or to a boring get-together was, ‘Sorry, can’t risk it, what with COVID.’ Now I can just say, ‘Have you seen those gas prices? I can’t afford to leave the house!’ Couldn’t have come at a better time.”
Saint John resident Keith Robertson said that, even while working from home, just doing basic errands burns an unaffordable amount of gas.
“Used to cost me $40 to fill up, and now it’s $70. How did that happen?” he exclaimed, standing outside an Irving gas station, looking dismayed.
“But hey, on the bright side, if someone invites me anywhere, I can go all Tiger King on ’em and tell them I’d go, but then I’d never financially recover — says it all.”
The states prices are no better