Swingers can’t wait to go back to orgies as usual

Swingers can’t wait to go back to orgies as usual

Moncton — As March 14 draws closer, New Brunswick’s swinger community is anxious to be free as jaybirds once again.

While their favourite pastime limped along during the pandemic, public health restrictions blocked many from full participation.

As COVID-19 limitations peter out, a Moncton adult club is anxious to grow their members once again.

”We haven’t been able to do the chicken dance without restrictions for almost six months!” said Shediac swinger Sean Giste. “I know face masks are a pain, but they are the absolute worst in intimate public situations.

”By the way, I don’t mean the Eyes Wide Shut kind of masks or leather ones with the zipper mouth. I mean like mouth-covering masks, right? Because…well anyways, you get the picture. Suffice it to say we are glad it’s over!”

Giste is also passionate about the removal of crowd size limitations inside his favourite local swinger hangout. “Nothing kills the mood faster than trying to enforce how many people can be in a menage, so to speak. And don’t even get me started on the six foot limitations! I mean, the challenges with that are obvious.”

The Public Health department is also starting to get back to business as usual, like tracking the transmission of STIs in the local swinger communities.

”It’s been nice in a way to not have to worry about what these…enthusiasts…are passing around to each other for a while,” confessed Chief Medical Officer of Health Dr. Jennifer Russell.

“Now, it’s back to this mess again. Gross.”

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