Oromocto — Another New Brunswick coach has been found at fault for trying to get the jump on the competition.
A local teacher has been sanctioned by School Sports New Brunswick for importing a young adult kangaroo with the intent of having that marsupial compete on Oromocto High’s track and field team.
These new allegations surfaced only days after a Fredericton High basketball coach was accused of violating the governing body’s strict anti-recruitment policies.
The track coach, Joey Piste, claims that he was unaware that it was an SSNB rule violation.
“I’m completely innocent!” responded Piste, speaking exclusively with The Manatee. “I checked the rules and there was absolutely nothing in there about kangaroos.
“Moreover, I would cite the following cases in my defence: Air Bud, Air Bud: Golden Receiver, Air Bud: World Pup…”
“Those are movies,” sighed our reporter.
“… Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch, and finally Air Bud: Spikes Back!
“Your honour, I rest my case!” yelled Piste one inch from our reporter’s face.
The young adult kangaroo has been enrolled as a student at OHS for the past four months after being somewhat illicitly imported from the United States. The animal is alleged to have been taken to a sparsely populated region and shooed across an unsecured portion of the border by an organized crime syndicate. At the time of entry, the kangaroo is said to have been carrying a brick of cocaine and a handgun in her pouch.
“That has nothing to do with me,” said Piste. “I just bought her from the back of a van at the Walmart.
“‘When opportunity knocks, open a window,’ I always say.”