The Grinch that stopped Christmas spending

The Grinch that stopped Christmas spending

Fredericton — Every person in New Brunswick liked spending a LOT. But Premier Grinch — from Woodstock — definitely did NOT! Premier Grinch hated spending! The whole budget season!

Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be he governed too far to the right. It could be, perhaps, that he spent way too tight. But I think that the most likely reason for Higgs, may have been that the deficit was two sizes too big.

Whatever the reason — unknown as of yet — he stood there in December hating the debt. He stared at his budget with a sour grinchy frown, at the Liberal spending about to go down.

“Damned deficit spending!” he snarled with a sneer. “Next year’s too late! I will stop it right here!” Then he growled loudly at new stuff that was pending, “I MUST find some way to stop this frickin’ spending!”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea! PREMIER GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! “I know just what to do!” Premier Grinch said while laughing. He grabbed his red pen and he just started slashing!

“Centennial Building and Justice complex?! How ’bout ‘NO!'” he declared, peering over his specs. “New Brunswick Museum? Nothing wrong with the old!

“Oromocto gym? Go outside in the cold!

“In fact, all this school spending just makes me SICK! Well…except for the one that’s for Dominic.

“Now get ready for this one…this little bombshell! Route 11 upgrades: you can go STRAIGHT TO HELL!

That’s it; that’s the tale — there’s no happy ending. Premier Grinch slashed it all…he cut ALL the spending. He did what he promised in New Brunswick they say — the capital budget shrank two sizes that day!

“And if you don’t like that, you’d better starting packing. You’ll really be mad when they start all the fracking!”


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