Canada — Whether you’re stuck in the house self-isolating or this is just a normal weekend for you, The Manatee is proud to present our second edition of the CBC Comments Section Drinking Game — this time with a fun viral spin!
Now, we know you blew through your random booze cabinet at Christmas and some of you may be in provinces where a state of emergency means the liquor store is actually closed. If you’re out of stock alcohol-wise, give your local craft producers a look-up on social media. Plenty are offering delivery to your door, and they may even throw in a craft hand sanitizer if you’re lucky. Once you’re stocked up, it’s time to play!
The rules are simple: ring up that group chat you muted two days ago on Facebook Messenger and take turns choosing CBC news articles and reading the comments section, one comment per person. If a comment falls into one of the categories below, follow the action associated with it. Play until you forget you’re alone. We’ve got 14 new rules for the 14 days you’re stuck in the house. Think it will be longer? Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it!
|A comment blaming the media for fear-mongering.||Go on Instagram live with a breaking news report of you chugging a beer.|
|A comment blaming inept leadership for being unprepared.||Elect your pet president of the sovereign nation of your house. They are your leader now. They decide when you take a drink.|
|That one guy insinuating climate change is the root of the issue.||Finish your drink, pick up all your empty cans and organize your recycling.|
|Long comment threads arguing nonsense politics.||One drink for every comment that begins with, “Well, actually…”|
|Toilet paper dad jokes.||Face-time your dad, read him the joke and have a drink together.|
|A comment on the fear of the return of the snowbirds infecting more people.||Penguin-walk around the house until you need a new drink.|
|Someone accusing China of designing the virus in a lab in order to take over the world.||Order takeout from your local mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant. Support small business.|
|A comment telling everyone to chill out and go with the flow.||SCREAM BREAK! It releases stress and will help you chill.|
|Someone worried about non-existent mandatory vaccinations.||Inject a shot into your mouth.|
|Someone worried Canada is becoming a police state.||Pay your pet a treat tax and take a drink.|
|Someone worried about the 2020 Olympics.||CARDIO BREAK! Dance for the duration of your favourite pandemic-themed jam.|
|Someone stating the virus is a big coverup for the economical crisis that’s happening.||Cry. Let it out. Now drink.|
|Someone making a statement that those dying from COVID-19 would have died anyway.||Kill your drink — it would have died anyway.|
|An actual relevant, well-worded question.||Sociables: cheers your virtual friends, tell them you’ll get through this together, but apart.|