Tims scraps Roll Up the Rim ‘so people won’t get sick,’ but keeps chili on menu

Tims scraps Roll Up the Rim ‘so people won’t get sick,’ but keeps chili on menu

Canada — Yet another cancellation was announced this week amid the highly publicized global outbreak of COVID-19. This time, it was a beloved Canadian institution: the Tim Hortons Roll Up the Rim to Win competition.

The company announced that it would be getting rid of the cups this year in favour of an online contest. The reason given for this is that they don’t want to “endanger the health of our customers.” Nevertheless, the chain has opted to retain chili on their menu.

“It’s a surprising decision, quite frankly,” Canadian Health Minister Patty Hajdu said in a televised statement. “Right now, it is estimated that the fatality rate of coronavirus is at about 2 percent. When it comes to Tim Hortons chili, that number is closer to 8 percent. At least.”

Hajdu points out that the parallels are difficult to ignore. Most significantly, like the virus, Tim Hortons chili originates from an indeterminate animal.

Also, COVID-19 is known for having an especially short incubation period. Similarly, as anyone who has ever used a washroom after consuming the chili can attest, it does not need to be in one’s body long before the effects are felt.

Many have expressed concern over how the company plans to get rid of thousands of unused contest cups in a way that is both sustainable and environmentally friendly. While the company has remained vague on this point, CEO Daniel Schwartz did address the concern in a prepared statement. 

“Let’s just say that we are in possession of a substance that can biodegrade almost anything,” he wrote.

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