Trudeau returns from G7, won’t stop going on about his ‘summit friends’

Trudeau returns from G7, won’t stop going on about his ‘summit friends’

Ottawa — After the annual G7 Summit in London wrapped up this weekend, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made his reluctant return to Canada. By all accounts, the Canadian leader seemed to enjoy the experience, despite a rocky start.

“He kept calling home to whine and say that he hated it there, that he didn’t have anything in common with anybody,” said Opposition Leader Erin O’Toole. “No matter what we said, we could not convince him that if he’d just relax, he would have a good time.”

Despite his reservations, Trudeau’s Canadian colleagues began to notice that once the activities began, the prime minister’s disposition noticeably changed. 

“I suppose it’s inevitable, but once all the dinners, meetings and agreements started happening, things really seemed to turn around,” said Speaker of the House Anthony Rota. “Before long, we couldn’t even get him to answer his phone.”

According to several members of Parliament, this icy attitude compounded when the prime minister returned home, with a new look, and a new personality.

“No matter what we talk about, he always turns the conversation to something he said or did with his ‘summit friends,’” said House Leader Pablo Rodriguez. “It gets old quick.”

Trudeau agreed to speak briefly with The Manatee over Zoom on Monday morning, where he appeared with a tan, a hand-made shark tooth necklace and a temporary tattoo on his arm that read “Hit the Road, Belt!”

“It’s an inside joke with my summit friends. See, China is kind of…Ah, you wouldn’t get it,” he said, with a dismissive wave of his hand. “My summit friends and I just had this, like, ‘quirky’ sense of humour, you know? I guess you had to be there.”

Trudeau lamented the fact that that he and his Canadian colleagues are no longer on the same “wave-length.” He said that he formed several relationships at the summit that he believes will be significant and long lasting — with a special emphasis on one relationship in particular.

“Joe and I…We’re, uh, taking it slow, you know?” he said, blushing slightly. “We traded phone numbers at the end and, well…I’m not going to say we’re going to be together forever or anything, but we had this real connection you only get at summit, you know?” 

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