Fredericton — Times are tough in the Maritimes, and jobs are becoming increasingly hard to come by for recent graduates, a fact that has caused a decline in applications at Fredericton’s UNB campus.
“People are learning that a degree at UNB really gets you nowhere,” said a concerned Janice Sluman, Dean of Admissions. “We’re not going to just sit back and not take people’s money, though — we’re going to do something about it so students will keep burying themselves in debt.”
UNB has decided to take a new approach to recruitment by offering classes more in line with the needs of New Brunswickers.
“We realize this place isn’t exactly chock-full of job opportunities,” said Sluman, “so we’re going to offer courses to help those people who need to know how to survive without a job, also known as New Brunswickers.”
Sluman showed The Manatee the new course outline, which will commence in spring of 2016. The courses are being offered in the same formats as traditional studies, offering advanced degrees and doctorates in “Applying for EI” and “Learning to Live With Your Parents Forever.”
“This is really only a starting point,” cheered Dr. Stuart Noble, professor of Extreme Couponing 101. “We’re really tapping into a new genre of learning here — it’s a very exciting time.”
The full list of new courses is as follows: Being Homeless 101-301, Leeching off Your Friends 101-301, Introduction to Begging, Extreme Couponing 101-301, Learning to Live With Your Parents Forever 101-301, Applying for EI 101-301, Introduction to Repurposing, Introduction to Bottle Redemption, Turn That Frown Upside-down 101-201 and Introduction to Feeling Sorry for Yourself.
The courses will be available as part of the new Bachelor of Living in New Brunswick program and will be offered at both the Fredericton and Saint John campuses.
News of the fresh courses has filled New Brunswick students with hope for their once bleak future.
“I was stuck in the dead-end study of business,” said an excited Mandy Colburn, a third-year student in Fredericton. “I knew it wasn’t going to amount to any job potentials, but I didn’t have any other viable options until now.”
Ryan Warren, a student in Saint John, said he is looking forward to finally feeling like he has an area of expertise. “I’m a mature student and am currently in my 7th year here,” Warren confessed. “I’ve been living with my parents all this time, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be acing these new courses. Soon I’ll be a professional at never having to be a professional.”
Since the announcement, UNB has seen an increase in enrolment of over 400% for the upcoming spring term. UNB hopes to expand its related course offerings in the years to come.