New Brunswick — Have you completed your tax returns yet?
The official tax return deadline is April 30, which, as anyone under the age of 40 will assure you, is like “months away.”
Dads across the province, of course, disagree. Most have already begun dropping offhand remarks and veiled admonishments into casual conversations with their adult children.
“I was watching that old movie the other day…you know, Blade? With Wesley Snipes?” one Fredericton father was reported to have said late last week. “That Wesley Snipes was something huh? Ruined his whole career by not filing his taxes correctly. I think I even read that he was homeless now. Did you see that? Anyway — have you gotten your T4 from work yet?”
Paternal pestering becomes an epidemic each March as fathers province-wide begin the arduous process of filing their own taxes for the year.
In fact, when The Manatee visited your father early Friday morning, he was in the middle of revising his already completed tax return, leaning close to the page and biting his bottom lip in concentration.
“A-HA!” he cried, suddenly, jumping to his feet and waving the paper enthusiastically. “I found another deduction!”
Still, he dismisses the idea that filing taxes is in any way fun for him. Rather, he exhorts that it’s something that “any responsible person ought to take pride in.”
“It’s just a load off your mind,” he told The Manatee. “I just don’t know why you wouldn’t do it as soon as you get your forms. Before, even.”
In fact, as your father is quick to point out, he has his taxes done years in advance. He excitedly plopped a large pile of documents onto the kitchen table, and began rifling through them to show off his immaculate work.
“I’ve got all of my taxes organized and set to go from now until 2024,” he said proudly, affectionately patting the pile.
Can he really predict how much he will make over the next six years? What if he gets a raise?
“What in the hell would I want a raise for?” he asked incredulously.