PSA: NB Halloween curfew set for 4:30 p.m. this year

New Brunswick — Not a treat, and sadly not a trick: The East Coast province’s youth will need to be extra efficient in their candy-gathering this year due to a change in the Halloween curfew time. New Brunswick RCMP spokesperson Gina Williams and Premier Brian Gallant informed reporters that the new curfew will be in effect to “provide ease of mind to parents and law officials that their children won’t be out past dark and in potentially dangerous situations.”

“Children can wear their costumes to school and start trick-or-treating on their walk back from the bus stop,” said Williams at Monday’s press conference at the Regent Mall in Fredericton, where people shopping for candy and costumes stopped to watch, at first thinking the gathered press was another misguided attempt at a Fredericton flash mob.

“We received many complaints that in 2013 older kids were out late loitering and scaring children. We need to make sure that people aren’t too afraid to celebrate this national day of revelry. What’s more, with Halloween falling on a Friday this year, the likelihood of drunk adults stumbling around is very high, and we don’t want them harassing trick-or-treaters,” explained Gallant to an increasingly disenchanted crowd.

This announcement has unsurprisingly sparked outrage in parents and revellers alike.

“I work until 4:30; how am I supposed to take my kids trick-or-treating when they’re waiting at school for me to pick them up?” shouted an enraged Toby Sarchfield in answer to the announcement. “I’m sure as hell not hiring a babysitter to stuff my kids’ face with candy and pocket half for themselves!” he added, ripping open his box of snack-sized Cadbury chocolates and shoving some sweet, succulent comfort food down his gullet.

“This sucks so hard, my friends and I go trick-or-treating every year. It’s not fair that other teenagers ruin it for the rest of us,” said Grade 12 student Ben Matthews, scratching the sparse peach fuzz on his face in annoyance. “What are we supposed to do now? We only get off school at 3:30. Not young enough to have fun, too young to drink? I’m not going to another stupid sock-hop.”

Anyone found going door to door past 4:30 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 31 will be fined a minimum of $100, up to a maximum of $500 depending on the number of children in their group and the amount of effort put into the costumes, with smaller fines for more creative families.

  1. Absolutely crazy…….government are trying to control our lives. From mandatory seat belts (that don’t always save lives) to Halloween curfews. I think being a grown mature fun loving adult we should be able to decide and teach safety rules and limits to our children and set our own curfew depending on our region and past issues the area has already had. Don’t you have better things to do????

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  2. This doesn’t make any sense at all..Most of us are working until 5:00pm..Plus, my 13 years old step son only arrives here at 4:40 from school..He can’t start trick or treating from school, we live 1/2 hour drive away from his school…Now this is not too fair for him…I guess that a lot of kids will be missing a school day on Friday..

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  3. This has to be a joke; there is no way this is true.

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  4. “The Manatee is a satirical news site offering fictional, critical observations of popular culture and current events. It is intended to be humorous with a harsh dose of reality. Any interview subjects’ resemblance to a member of the public not in the public eye is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously.” is located on their about me page.

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  5. what,,how can that idea work…come on ppl rethink that..let the little ones enjoy a fun night..most have supervision anyway…why ruin such a fun time for the kids..tho I know the remarks about it being Friday night and bigger kids scaring the little ones are true..should be up to the parents or care givers when their kids go out.

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  6. What the hell!!!
    Most people work til five. You. An take your child, but there will be no answers at doors.
    I am appalled that I have spent so much money on this event for my 6 year old To enjoy with his mom.
    Our govt has ruined this for our kids & I will not be abiding by this so call dumbass law.
    I have a doctors appt for my so. At 2pm, we will b lucky to by out by 430.
    Sooooo angry sooooo mad!!

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  7. I think someone has April Fools day confused with Halloween. This is the only place I’ve seen this announcement and I am up on the news.

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  8. The pure ignorance of some of these comments make me sick its fake!

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  9. BUT MY LITTLE NEVEAH LIKES TO TRICK OR TREAT HOW DARE YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US THIS IS BECOMING A POLICE STATE THANKS OBAMA

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  10. This is excellent news. I am always worried when I’m drinking and driving on Halloween, there are too many people on the streets when it’s dark. I’m so glad they’re doing something about it.

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  11. I THINK THIS IS JUST DUMB SEE EVERYONE THAT’S WHY I DONT VOTE BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL AS#HO#ES

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  12. Disclaimer:

    The Manatee is a satirical news site offering fictional, critical observations of popular culture and current events. It is intended to be humorous with a harsh dose of reality. Any interview subjects’ resemblance to a member of the public not in the public eye is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously.

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  13. Well if it’s real. Guess you should call for a re election because the evil wizard from Harry potter. He who shall not be named is in charge.

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  14. This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard …… People that make these rules got to take there head out of there asses .

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  15. OH THANK GAWD it isn’t true !!!!!!!! SATIRE….almost gave me a heart attack !!!

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    • It’s not true ???

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      • Did you actually read the article?

        “at first thinking the gathered press was another misguided attempt at a Fredericton flash mob.”

        “ripping open his box of snack-sized Cadbury chocolates and shoving some sweet, succulent comfort food down his gullet.”

        “maximum of $500 depending on the number of children in their group and the amount of effort put into the costumes, with smaller fines for more creative families.”

        How do you get past all of that and believe the article. Do people just see the headline and storm straight to the comments?

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  16. This is why the province of New Brunswick is a joke, whoever is in charge down there need to get there act together. No wonder everyone leaves that province. Stop asking yourselves why and start doing something about it

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    • “The Manatee is a satirical news site offering fictional, critical observations of popular culture and current events. It is intended to be humorous with a harsh dose of reality. Any interview subjects’ resemblance to a member of the public not in the public eye is purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously.”

      Check their About Me page.

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  17. Douche bags for writing this crap!

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  18. C’est une joke??? Mes garcons qui sont a la polyvalente arrivent de l’ecole a 4:25,,, ils n’ont pas le droit de passer l’halloween??? Allons donc! Une autre facon de gaspiller l’argent des contribuables,, parce que si un de mes 2 garcons arrivent avec une amende,,, c’est certain que sa va être contester!!! Dit moi pas qu’ont a élu un autre clown au pouvoir!

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  19. This isn’t right this is a free county it’s the parent responsibility to keep there kids safe

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  20. I’m in my first year at UNBSJ and my classes don’t get done until 4:30… People are already rude in this town when I go trick or treating, but now I have to go to get candy from people in the morning. Plus since it will be at the same time and not later at night I’ll have to race all those dumb little kids. This is ridiculous!

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  21. Can you please stop posting things like this? Most people are too stupid to realize you are satire, or to even bother reading anything other than the title. Then it spreads to everyone and makes life a little harder for the rest of us.

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  22. I’m dying laughing in part at the article but mostly at the jackasses who are posting out-raged comments. “…That’s why I don’t vote…” Hahaha!

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  23. Sounds like April fools and Halloween all rolled up in one lol

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  24. RIDICULOUS! Some parents don’t even get off work until 5:00 or 5:30!

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  25. Ok I was super angry and then realized it was a joke 🙂 Glad we can still celebrate freely in peace with dead bodies and fake hanging corpses everywhere.
    (WTF is halloween anyway?!)
    -www.tealtomato.com

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  26. heather crossman October 28, 2014, 10:22 pm

    This is the dumbest thing….. No one can expect to give out treats at that dumb hour
    I work until. 4 pm, minimum. I enjoy seeing the kids. 8pm is a more likely number. Come o , what about the high school kids…. By putting a ban on the time will likely cause more damage…. I think you will regret this action.

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  27. WHAT ?! this is insane! I can’t believe I voted for this guy AND this is the thanks I get…. premier Brian Fantana should be ashamed. … I saw Ron Burgundy reporting this on the channel 4 news this evening… must be legit.

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  28. Alex, you should be writing novels… Your writing is descriptive and funny.

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  29. We had all the same issues in the 60’s. Older kids hassling younger and back then you could get a frigin police escort home if you were driving drunk. I shit you not .At least there are less drunks out there now. Whom ever this local government official is must need alot of chap stick . Relax and let be and buck up police presence when needed.

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  30. I know this is a parody site but you are being irresponsible by posting things like this when people start to take it seriously. You are now affecting people’s lives and if you get your kicks from that then I feel sorry for you because that’s pretty low.

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    • No, the people that take news from their Facebook newsfeed as fact are irresponsible. ANYONE can write ANYTHING on the internet. Stop believing everything you read – I feel sorry for people who don’t question where they get their information from. Do you read the National Enquirer and think that’s real news?

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  31. Lmao wow ppl it’s a joke, relax! I see a lot of sad ppl without a sense of humor ..sheesh

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  32. “ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.” On the bottom of every page. Don’t blame the openly satirical website for people’s simpletonery! That’s like blaming Skittles for making you fat: “It says ‘no fat’, they’re healthy! Wait, sugar turns into fat if the calories aren’t burned? Those bastards!”

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  33. Is this “satirical” story supposed to be humorous?? People are reading this and believing in it…….and making phone calls inquiring about it to police, city halls, etc, which is wasting their important resources. Maybe you should post your disclaimer at the TOP of your page……and at the TOP of every fictional article so that this doesn’t happen?!

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    • This entire website is satire. There are TONS of them on the internet, and a LOT of them come up on your news feed on Facebook. So instead of blaming a satire website, how about you take responsibility where you get your information? This site isn’t to blame for wasting important resources, DUMB people calling the POLICE over something they read on a non-official, very obviously joking website are the problem. I mean the police? Really? Here’s a tip – don’t get your news from Facebook.

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  34. This is hilarious, so well written. How anyone can take this seriously is mind boggling..

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  35. You guys (The Manatee staff) must thoroughly enjoy reading the comments of your articles. I get great enjoyment out of them.

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  36. This is the best article I’ve ever read. Bravo Manatee, bravo!

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  37. This is hilarious. The comments are just as funny as the article!!

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  38. This is great, best giggle I’ve had all day.

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  39. You guys at the Manatee crack me up. Keep up the good work!

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  40. stay_the_fuck_out_or_else_010376 October 30, 2014, 12:01 am

    Good luck with that crap 😉 Mine will pass until 7:30 as usual…. Stop ruining all the fun…Take that damn drunks out instead…. >:-<

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  41. The people who believe this satirical story to be true also neglect to read the previous comments before posting their own. Then those who finally realize it is not true are angry they were fooled! Sad, just sad.

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  42. This is terrible! I informed my grade 3 home room class, and the poor kids were in tears the whole morning. Premier Gallant should be ashamed…..

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  43. Thanks so much for the good laugh. I can’t believe so many people don’t know the difference between satire and news. Beautiful prank (though probably not so intended), so close to Halloween.

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  44. Very bottom of page says::

    DISCLAIMER:
    ALL content (including likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc.) hosted on this website and associated social media accounts are fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.

    Reply
  45. […] press conference took place somewhere it normally wouldn’t, such as Tim Hortons or the Fredericton Regent Mall, there is a very high likelihood that it falls within the realm of […]

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