'50 Shades of White': The story of winter in New Brunswick

The Manatee has received a sneak peek at New Brunswick author Brad Moffat’s new novel about winter in Canada’s snow-covered Picture Province. Excerpts of the soon-to-be-released novel can be read below:

… the Submissive is to fully succumb to the will of the snow, ice and freezing-cold temperatures. They shall without question or hesitation do the willing of the mountains of snow which surrounds them …

The wind and snow may flog, beat, whip or punish the Submissive as it sees fit, for the purposes of discomfort, for its own personal enjoyment or for any other reason, which the weather is not obliged to provide.

The snow may restrain, handcuff, or blind the Submissive at any time during the winter, late autumn, early spring and even occasionally in the New Brunswick summer for any reason and for any extended periods of time.

50shadesThe Submissive may not do anything enjoyable whatsoever without permission from the sleet and snow.

The Submissive shall not look directly into the snow or wind except when trying to throw the snow over the 10-foot-tall snowbank in their driveway.

No safe-word exists; there is no hope in trying to stop winter from happening, as it will do it’s will as it pleases.

Does the Submissive consent to: Constant freezing, loss of power, slipping and falling while people watch, getting super frustrated when you finish shovelling your driveway just in time for the plow to go by again, having snot run from your nose for 3 months straight, having no feeling in your extremities, having your skin become so dry that you’re constantly scratching yourself, face the potential of hypothermia, always have wet socks, and to ruin every pair of shoes that you choose to wear outside?

Does the Submissive consent to the use of: Wool scarves, big fluffy mittens, earmuffs, cough lozenges, facial tissues, ugly-but-warm boots, long underwear, wool socks, toques, oversized hoodies, shovels, scrapers and Safe-T-Salt?

Suddenly the snow grabs me, making me fall toward the icy ground. With one smooth movement, I’m lying on my back as the ice grips every curve of my body. The wind throws itself on top of me, caressing every inch of my exposed skin and freezing it on contact, holding me down so I cannot move. It releases, and the sun begins to shine. For a moment, I feel as though the wind and the frigid cold are finally gone … and then it hits me – hard. (173,174)

The book details the story of the population of New Brunswick struggling to come to grips with the force that winter holds over us all. It’s scheduled to hit bookstore shelves near you in April.

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