Cavendish — Saying they really needed to let their hair down, the premiers of the Atlantic Canadian provinces as well as several federal politicians met today in Cavendish, P.E.I. for the beginning of a week-long holiday on the Gentle Island.
The group rented a small cottage next to a beach to serve as their home-base for the duration of the relaxing and amusing vacation. “We’re not planning to spend any real time in the cottage, though; there’s just too much to see and do here,” said New Brunswick Premier Brian Gallant.
“I made an itinerary so we don’t miss anything. Today we’re going to go to the beach, check out the rides at Sandspit, and visit Green Gables Heritage Place — I really want one of those silly Anne hats with the red braids coming out the side,” he added with a chuckle.
“If we have time, we’ll head to Charlottetown and take funny pictures with the Sir John A. MacDonald statue,” said Federal Agriculture and Agri-Food Minister Lawrence MacAulay. “And tomorrow we’ll definitely be sharing some Cows ice cream — it’s too expensive to each get our own cone, so we’ve been engaged in some healthy debate over whether to get ‘Gooey Mooey,’ ‘Cowberry,’ or ‘Cowrispy Crunch.’ I guess we’ll have to put it to a vote!”
MacAuley added that he hopes the Cows store has some funny political-themed shirts and towels for sale. “Maybe some puns like ‘Cowstitution’ or ‘Cowfederation.’ I’d be fine with either.”
Minister of Public Services and Procurement Judy Foote said that, as the only girl on the trip, she’s had to endure a lot of good-natured ribbing, but she’s OK with that. “These guys can be a little crude, but they know how to enjoy themselves,” she said, donning the P.E.I. dirt shirt she’d just purchased. “Brian even suggested that we go out to get a lobster dinner tonight with some tasty P.E.I. potatoes! It’s going to be so nice!”
According to Nova Scotia Premier Stephen McNeil, the group has already made lasting memories on their vacation. “I told the guys to try to hold their breath the entire way across the Confederation Bridge,” he related with a sly wink. “What a hoot — no one lasted more than 2 minutes!”
When asked what the group plans to do in the event of inclement weather, Gallant said they’d probably just stay in the cottage and binge-watch Just Passing Through on Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Dwight Ball’s laptop. “We may ‘come from away,’ but we still love Parnell and Terry Gallant,” Gallant stated in his best P.E.I. accent. “Hey, maybe we’re related?!”
The politicians all agreed that before the end of the week, they’d buy some trinkets for the taxpayers who unknowingly funded the trip.
“Oh yeah, I’m going to bring back some Raspberry Cordial, an Anne fridge magnet, a potato doorstop, a Cows T-shirt,” listed Gallant. “Whatever I think each constituent will like.”