New Brunswick — Nine Canadian provinces have agreed to loosen interprovincial alcohol trade rules, as a part of a broader effort to reduce international trade barriers and support Canadian businesses amid the ongoing tariff threats from the U.S.
Local alcohol producers hope the move will open up new markets, and New Brunswick Premier Susan Holt says the changes will help consumers access more uniquely Canadian products.
“We need to be drinking more, and specifically more Canadian beer, cider, wine and spirits,” she said. “Having access to alcohol from other provinces, and selling more of ours directly to consumers is going to show Trump who’s boss. He thinks he can threaten us? Well, he hasn’t seen just how much booze we can knock back here in New Brunswick. He’ll regret the day he ever messed with us.”
New Brunswickers heard the news as a call to action.
“I love drinking, and if I can support local Canadian businesses by continuing to do so, well I’m up for the challenge!” said Dieppe local Maureen Foster, grabbing a pack of Moosehead from her fridge. “Holt doesn’t do much right in my eyes, but this is her best idea yet. I was saving these for the weekend, but what the heck, we’ve got tariffs to fight!”
Other residents are on board as well.
“I never really understood what ‘elbows up’ meant until now,” said Calvin O’Donnell of Boiestown. “It’s just what you have to do to raise another bottle.”
O’Donnell said that as a proud Canadian and lifelong New Brunswicker, he’s keen to help out where he can.
“I buy a lot of beer, and it’s all Canadian. I mean, it’s Alpine. It’s not Molson Canadian…you know what I mean. Anyway, I’m more than willing to keep drinking if it helps fight that asshole Trump. Here, have one — it’s on me,” he said, passing a cold beer to our reporter, who downed it in one swift gulp.
Canadians everywhere are feeling the pinch in their pocketbooks with price tags rising on everything from housing to food — and alcohol.
“The thing is, no matter how much prices go up, we’re never, ever going to stop buying beer,” said Howie VanDine of Miramichi. “It can be hard to justify buying local foods when it’s so expensive, even though you really want to support the smaller businesses and avoid American.
“But I think I speak for all New Brunswickers when I say, ‘Leave the drinking to the professionals.'”