Edmundston — The springtime weather has arrived in Edmundston bringing rain, fog and wind to the northern city.
However, one unwelcome change that also arrived is the sudden spike in COVID-19 cases.
Despite being the latest hot zone in the province, Edmundston residents are asking people to tamp down the negative chatter directed towards them. They aren’t actually feeling that well and the negative vibes are just making it worse.
“Talk about kicking someone when they’re down, jeez,” said Edmundston mayor Éric Marquis. “Thanks a lot, you jerks.
“You know who else wants us to have no cases? Us! We don’t know what’s going on either or trust me, we’d do something about it! It’s a friggin’ pandemic people — by definition shit happens that you can’t control.
“Also, can you please keep it down? A lot of us have terrible headaches, we’re not really feeling 100 per cent at the moment.”
As of Tuesday morning, there are 135 active cases of COVID-19 in Edmundston. To date, there has been a total of 577 cases — the highest of any region in the province. The total number of cases in the Edmundston area is 59 per cent higher than average number of cases per region in New Brunswick.
“We’re really sorry if this screws up the bubble and your summer vacation plans or whatever,” said Marquis. “We can’t control any of that. Virtually everyone is following the rules! We want to bubble too, we effin’ love bubbles……”
“Umm,… sorry. I lost my train of thought. What was I talking about again? It’s hard to concentrate with all of this noise and stress. I think I need to lie down.
“Can you handle my phone for me while I have a nap? If someone talks shit, just send them an emoji of a middle finger for me.”