Biggest asshole you know instructs Facebook friends to ‘be kind’

Biggest asshole you know instructs Facebook friends to ‘be kind’

Halifax — That condescending twat you know from university is going around telling people to be kind, according to multiple sources.

Yes, Marcus Mason, the guy who interrupted other students in every political science class to loudly spew his own opinions, has the gall to inform others that kindness is the best policy.

“Be kind to each other, people,” typed the man who talks down to his girlfriend and regularly belittles co-workers in an effort to make himself feel good. “Remember — it’s tough out there and you never know what people are going through. xox.”

Mason’s ex, Melinda Robinson, said he was verbally abusive when they were dating, and that the self-described “male feminist” actually has no respect for women.

“He was really mean and would make fun of me in public, and he always made me think I was going crazy when I’d gently ask him to go easier on me. I think they call it gaslighting these days? Anyway, I laughed out loud when I saw that he was writing statuses about compassion and empathy. What an idiot.”

Robinson said she once witnessed Mason pick up a cat by its tail, and laugh at its distress.

“And then there was the time I had my wisdom teeth out and he was supposed to come pick me up afterward, and he wasn’t there and I had to find my way home all hopped up on laughing gas. When I got there, he was sitting on the couch playing video games and didn’t even look up.

“‘Be kind,’ my ass.”

Mason’s co-worker Kyra Alder said that last year her boss assured her she was a shoo-in for a promotion, but then the next day she received an email informing her that the position had gone to Mason.

“The boss said Marcus ‘showed more initiative,’ but that just means he told the boss lies about me so I wouldn’t be promoted,” remembered Alder. “Then when I wasn’t exactly rushing to congratulate him, he said that I’m just bitter because he’s more talented and deserving than I am. And yeah, I saw his ‘kindness’ status…dude really has no self-awareness.”

We spoke with Mason, who said that we should try to be more kind instead of looking for fault with him or his past behaviour.

“Perhaps it’s time to turn the other cheek?” he suggested, his arrogant face looking pretty darn punchable. “Forgive and forget — that’s my motto. I guess I’m just a bigger person.”

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