Fredericton — According to the Public Health Agency of Canada, the outbreak of E. coli linked to romaine lettuce “appears to be over.”
The vegetable’s return to shelves will have a marked effect on the McIssac family. According to Linda McIssac, the mother of the household, 10-year-old Tracy and 8-year-old Shawn are notoriously picky eaters, disliking vegetables in particular, and this past month she’s done little to challenge that.
“I really let things slide this month,” said Linda, with an ashamed scoff. “I let the lettuce thing turn into an excuse to eat like crap.”
Now, finally, the family’s eating habits are back to normal and Tuesday evening, Linda served her kids salad for the first time in several weeks. “Here you go, sweethearts,” she cooed.
With disgust, Tracy raised the leaf to her mouth and nibbled at the edges with gritted teeth. Immediately, her face scrunched up. “Ugh! I wish it would kill me.”
After forcing down two more leaves, she began lamenting the end of her lettuce-free month and reminiscing about the good times it had held. “Aw man, it was sweet. Instead of soggy sandwiches and salads, we had mother-effin’ Lunchables!”
“Mom even gave us lunch money,” added Shawn, cheerfully. “I bought four fidget spinners. All of them are blue.”
As children, they have little control over their meals. Nevertheless, one picky eater is taking matters into her own hands. The Manatee checked in with Tracy the following day to see how she was faring.
“Me, I was told that the reason we couldn’t eat the stuff was because there was poop all over it,” she said, shrugging, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “I thought that was interesting.”
“Dear god, the lettuce!” her mother suddenly cried from the kitchen.