E-scooter riding to replace all gym class activities across New Brunswick school system

E-scooter riding to replace all gym class activities across New Brunswick school system

New Brunswick — In a new focus on inclusion, all K-12 New Brunswick gym class activities will now focus on e-scooter riding skills.

Education Minister Dominic Cardy said at a press conference late Monday that the changes will ensure “that no child gets left behind.” Reflecting upon his own rather deplorable school athletic record, Cardy stated that, “The goal here is to ensure that children, regardless of their body types and athletic abilities, cross the finish line at exactly the same time.”

He said a major issue with the current physical education program is that it does not prepare children for the jobs of tomorrow. “We know that the jobs of the future will see most workers bio-mechanically connected to the 5G network and that a physically fit body will bring about no benefit to employers.

“The initial purchase of e-scooters for students will alleviate the need for more than150 gym teachers who can be repurposed as health care workers in our failing system,” added Cardy.

The Department of Education and Early Childhood Development confirmed there could be e-scooter use exemptions for some children. In some parts of the province, children are not able to balance on any two-wheeled exercise equipment. For example, some children in Carleton County have never seen a bicycle and have only had access to ATVs from a young age.

Cardy added that ventilation systems in some gyms will see upgrades to allow for ATV usage indoors for children without the balance skills needed to handle the e-scooters.

Newly appointed Minister of Health Bruce Fitch applauded this decision. “Although there’s a perception that physical education is beneficial to children, it does have a long-term negative impact on health care spending. We know that a fit population lives longer, but those years at the end are very costly to the system.”

Premier Higgs responded via email. “This is a great plan but we’re looking at ways to convert most of the e-scooters to gasoline power to help achieve another budget surplus next year through increased gas tax revenue.”

Children can expect to see e-scooters as early as this fall according to the department.

Photo used under Creative Commons license by Kristoffer Trolle

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