Bathurst — Beaten, bloodied, but not discouraged, one of the last standing “Stop Harper” sticker straddles the cold, metal pole of the traffic light on the corner of Youghall Drive and St. Peter Avenue in Bathurst.
Halfway through its second federal election, the failing mixture of pressure-sensitive adhesive, ink and gloss stands about two and a half metres up the pole, crooked, on top of a graffitied Smashing Pumpkins logo.
“Thankfully I was able to get this gig, being that I have ‘stop’ written in both languages!” screamed down the sticker. “Lots of other stickers couldn’t find work; those 12 years of French immersion really paid off.
“The hippy who slapped me up here could’ve at least pointed me a little more east, though. Every single Tuesday and Thursday night I watch the amateurs spewing outside the Bowlarama; that is, if they’re not relieving themselves at the base of the pole,” explained the sicker.
Originally put up sometime in late August 2015, the stickers are now a reminder of the previous federal election, and the red wave that drowned the Conservatives.
“I think this spot is the best place for me to create real change in my community,” explained the sticker. “When loaded drivers miss the red light, they still see me and stop before taking the intersection head-on.”
The average lifespan of a “Stop Harper” sticker in the wild is only three to four months, due to weather. This sticker has surpassed all expectations.
“Elections Canada started hunting us down like dogs after the last election wrapped up,” said the sticker. “First they usually pick a corner and yank, tearing you completely apart without mercy. If the bastard’s really sick, they’ll drown you in rubbing alcohol to scrape away what’s left of you.”
The first recorded sighting of the “Stop Harper” design was on June 3, 2011, when horribly trained parliament page Brigette DePape displayed one in the House of Commons in protest of then-prime minister Stephen Harper’s policies.
Despite its longevity, rips and air bubbles are becoming prominent on the sticker’s surface.
“I’m really starting to show my age. The majority of my red area is quickly becoming the minority,” explained the sticker.
Because of its quickly bleaching surface, the sticker has begun looking for a paint job, potentially from another party.
“All that sunny-ways crap has really faded my colour. Lately I’ve been taking to Joyce Richardson, she’s really been pulling her weight for the Greens this election, I think she could definitely be a future leader.”