Fredericton — There are two seasons in New Brunswick, the saying goes: winter and construction season. And sometimes they overlap, meaning the roads are bad because of snow and ice, and construction from summertime is still not done, so motorists get stuck in the middle of it all.
It seems the only people who get any enjoyment out of leaving the house to go to work are flaggers, who get to regulate the traffic with impunity rather than be stuck in it all freakin’ morning.
“This one flagger in particular — you can tell he’s getting a deep thrill out of exaggeratedly waving that stop sign right in front of me, as if I didn’t see it during the past 25 minutes I’ve been waiting here,” said Marysville resident Pete Mockler, who was half an hour late for work this morning because of construction. “And isn’t the sign sort of doing his job for him? All he has to do it turn it to the ‘slow’ side when it’s time to let people go by, yet he acts so high and mighty about it.”
Adding, “It’s not like he’s a friggen air traffic controller…my dumbass brother could do this job, and he’s an idiot.”
“It’s suuuper helpful when they make hand gestures showing me which way to go,” said Georgia Miller of Devon, rolling her eyes. “Like, if they weren’t doing that, I might drive directly into that giant ditch by the side of the road they’ve dug.
“And why is it they’re only ever working during peak rush-hour traffic? If you blow through town at 2 p.m. there’s no one in sight. Is it just to make work for the flaggers and piss everyone else off?”
Fredericton, despite its relatively low population, has some of the most congested roadways and intersections in the province, and hands-down boasts the worst drivers anywhere.
“That may be true,” said Luke Morrison of Pepper Creek, “but does that really mean these flaggers have to act like they’re gods among men? It’s not like if people in Fredericton knew how to merge and use roundabouts that would solve the issue of potholes everywhere and never-ending highway construction. It feels like they’re trying to punish us for sucking at driving.
“Like this guy,” he said, pointing at that same flagger who did actually look pretty smug. “Sometimes it seems like he just doesn’t like the look of me, and makes a big show of not letting me go. I dunno…maybe I’m just being paranoid.”