Fredericton cops roll out passive-aggressive ‘speed-shaming’ signs

Fredericton cops roll out passive-aggressive ‘speed-shaming’ signs

Fredericton — Bad driving is one thing, but intentionally speeding represents a whole other level of ignorance, say capital city cops who are fed up with citizens putting the pedal to the metal in school zones and other speeding hot spots. So, the force is pioneering a new type of sign to embarrass motorists into slowing down.

“If someone goes through a 50 zone at 60 kilometres per hour,” explained Chief Leanne Fitch, “the sign will automatically flash one of a series of calmly hostile messages programmed into it, such as: ‘Wow, must be nice to be invincible’; or ‘We didn’t realize your life was so much more valuable than our children’s’; or ‘Someone’s in a rush to get nowhere.'”

One such sign placed on Prospect Street has already successfully slowed motorists who typically speed.

“I always go 10 above the limit at least; to be honest I never even batted an eye at those signs that just show my speed,” said northsider Rob Devine. “But these new messages cut deep. One of them said, ‘Someone thinks they’re above the law, eh?’ It sounded just like my late mother. Guilting me from beyond the grave. I slowed down some quick!”

Notorious speed-demon Janelle MacCrae said even she pressed the brakes when a sign shamed her by reading, “Hey Mario Andretti — this ain’t the Speedway 660.”

“That was just humiliating…” she admitted. “Other drivers could see it. I’m going to go 45 everywhere in the city from now on.”

Local cop Jack Smith said his personal favourite message goes, “Oh look, it’s Vin Diesel in a Toyota Camry.”

“That one’s a great reality check,” he said, laughing. “And just so people know, we’re taking suggestions for more passive-aggressive phrases. Share your ideas on the Fredericton Police Facebook page!”

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