Fredericton — A Fredericton man says he’s lucky to be alive after being trapped for hours holding the door at the Boyce Farmers’ Market on Saturday.
Joe Richard is one of thousands of capital residents who make a weekly trip to the popular market. However, this morning’s excursion almost ended in tragedy. Richard said he held the door for one patron, then another, then another, and soon realized he was in trouble.
“They just kept coming!” he said. “They all kept their eyes down, so they wouldn’t have to make eye contact and feel obligated to relieve me.”
At one point Richard tried to let go, but realized his hands were frozen to the door. “Since I live over on St. John Street, I just popped over in my coat without snow pants or a scarf or any real outdoor gear,” he said. “I had already enjoyed a schnitzel, and the hot sauce got all over my hand and then it froze it to the door.”
Richard was finally able to free himself just as the market was about to close. “One of the vendors saw me and brought over some leftover tea to heat up the sauce, and I was able to get free.”
Paramedics were called to check up on Richard, who was treated for exposure to cold and sent home. Richard says that’s the last time he’ll hold a door or be polite to anyone.
“Being nice gets you nowhere,” said the survivor. “All I wanted was a goddamn schnitzel and a bottle of over-priced freshly squeezed orange juice, and I ended up with frostbite.”
What an idiot