Fredericton — New Brunswick Premier Brian Gallant had an unusually large grin on his face today when he heard the news that, according to a recent poll, not only is he not the worst premier in the country, but as far as Canadians are concerned, he is only third worst.
“Wow, I couldn’t believe it to be honest,” beamed Gallant in an exclusive Manatee interview about the poll. “I’m in shock. I was certain I’d be rock bottom, what with all the crap I’ve been pulling lately; but no — I guess I just have the kind of popularity that can’t be stifled. It’s contagious!”
The poll, conducted by the Angus Reid Institute, showed that Gallant now has an approval rating of an abysmal 26 percent, just slightly better than Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne’s 24 percent and Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Dwight Ball’s 17 percent.
“I know being premier isn’t a popularity contest, but it’s just nice to know I’m beloved instead of hated. Or at least, only third-most hated. It feels good.”
The Manatee did some digging and unearthed Gallant’s high school yearbook. We found that although Gallant had been voted “most likely to succeed” by his graduating class, he was not voted “most popular,” and more shockingly wasn’t even in the running for “most handsome.” Gallant’s photo also revealed some unsightly braces, bad hair, and a lame quote by Marilyn Monroe, reading: “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
We asked a New Brunswicker who graduated with Gallant for his take on the poll as well as the yearbook.
“Yeah, I took that poll. I don’t approve of Gallant,” said Gary Hovey, class of 2000. “I barely remember the guy from school, but now I would definitely vote him most likely to succeed… in ruining the province!”